Friday, September 2, 2011

Ok...I might actually be speechless.

Tonight I re-viewed the video of this little boy....

His cleft lip is repaired (I must admit, I was disappointed...yes of course we would repair it but I'd love to embrace that wide smile one more time...) and at the end of the video he comes very close and I...watched...and grabbed the computer and brought it to Dean and said "look at his ear!".

I'm not sure words were needed. His ear has lumps or 'ear tags' on it just like Azlan's.

I had come to the guess that he has Hemifacial Microsomia like Azlan based on his appearance and the Scoliosis. But the ear tags would pretty much confirm it. And may indicate hearing loss and I'm being honest here...my heart started POUNDING.

Could God have laid this very heavily on my heart...have me need a friend to pour out to...arrange the coffee with Amanda...the discussion about Lifeline Agency...the look on the waiting list...the talk with Lisa...her asking me if I looked at this little boy (I said 'no we want a girl') she said "let me just send you his file..."...the review of the file...the connection...the peace...the song...my quick response to His prompting...to see this little boy at just the right time....the first file we have ever viewed...and he has the same exact diagnosis as Azlan Honor...??? All the way to the ear tags and maybe possible hearing loss?

A few weeks ago while reading my Bible I completely stopped in my tracks in Esther...with the verse Esther 4:14
And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

I couldn't seem to leave the verse. I told Dean and we discussed what maybe God was telling me...we didn't know.

Was He saying that all we've been through with Azlan...was for such a time as this...?


Ahhh. Tonight Dean and I stepped outside and I looked up. I immediately felt small. You ever do that? Look up. Suddenly we are just a people. Just a people on a planet on a continent on a...on a...on a... on a street....in a house. Just a people. And God really speaks to us? And God really orchestrates the details of our lives? And half a planet away...a little boy. Born unloved by his mommy and daddy. Left in a shoe box on a step downtown. ....

I can't even finish it.

I might actually be speechless.

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