Thursday, April 5, 2012

Positive first.

Yesterday was 2 years to the day that Meleki and Jacob Lumbala became Chazano and Zunduka Walker. WOW. We love our boys and so thankful for all God did to bring us together.

Last night after everyone was in bed, I watched "19 kids and counting" the show where they lost their 20th child. I cried discreetly as I watched their grief unfold. I really love this family and love how they live their faith very boldly on national TV. They don't sugar coat anything.

After the show I went into the bathroom and sobbed. It was also 2 years to the day that I said goodbye to our little baby in Africa. I've never known grief like I experienced that day and in the dark days to come. I could feel myself in the clamminess of that bathroom...I could feel the total solitude that I felt in that moment. I could feel the complete grief come up from deep inside me. Loss like I had never known. The hopes and dreams and attachment that died with that little baby that I had prayed so earnestly for...

I look at our little promise child today...a healthy vibrant Izrael Promise. She's a gift. I have truly cherished every moment of her. Never missing one.

We have three children in Heaven waiting for us.

He makes all things Beautiful.

In His time.

1 comment:

  1. Big hugs and squeezes across the many many miles Janice.