Saturday, June 30, 2012

A little excitement.

First Logan from Lifeline wrote us on Thursday and said how she was noticing our extreme patience while waiting for the LOA as we haven't contacted her at all.  She said she requested an update on our file and hopes to have one on Monday.

Second...I've been searching Craigslist in Portland and Seattle for the bedroom set we want for Zihao and Taizi.  The set is by Ikea and I've loved it for a long time. Wanted to get it for Z and C before they came home but it's really for toddler boys so this is perfect! I found the dressers to the set on CL in the Seattle Cl perfect condition. They are $129 each and she was asking $130 for both of them. I wrote her and said I was seriously interested and told her we are adopting 2 little boys from China and are excited to find this deal. She wrote back and said "awesome...$100 for both!".  How wonderful was that?? And to top it off I looked her area up on the map and she just so happens to live 10 minutes from a sweet friend of mine...that is willing to go and pick them up and hold them for us! So we have 2 dressers ! :) Now to have 2 little beds, 2 little nightstand and all the little trimmings to make a cute little room for two very cute little boys :)  One deal at a time is the plan!

We bought room darkening blinds at Walmart today for their room...and little miss Izrael Promise is now sleeping in there in her crib.  Why is that good news? Well b/c she's almost 16m old and has been sleeping in our bathroom since the beginning.  Why the bathroom? #1 it's only a few feet from my side of the bed. #2 there are no windows in our bathroom and that's one of our tricks for sleep training all of our babies. We transition them out of the dark at 15ish months and it works like a charm after a few adjustment days.  Why is this all good news that she's out of there...?  Because...we have our bathroom back! :)

June 29.

June 29 is the day that my an 8 year old little boy...trusted Jesus to take him to Heaven. He asked Him to forgive his sins and rested in the promise Jesus gave. John 3:16.  For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son...that whosoever believes in Him should not perish (eternally) but have everlasting life.

Last night as we were tucking the boys in bed I read one page of the children's version of "Heaven is For Real".  (Haven't read the book? Do. It's beautiful and backed by scripture).  The kids were spell bound.  So we were started talking about why Heaven is wonderful and I asked the kids "how do you know?" for everything they told me. I wanted them to really think about how they know what they so deeply believed.  They would stop and think and then someone would say "ohh...because God says so!"  So I asked "how do you know God can't tell a lie?" and they would think. Hmmm.. Then I read the verse that says "God cannot lie" and they were all in awe.

Chazano was looking terrified during this entire conversation.  I was 'ignoring' it and just kept talking. Finally he said "mama...I don't know if I'm going to Heaven" so we talked about why people go to Heaven. I went to great lengths in dramatic fashion (intriguing 4 little boys) about how Heaven is perfect and no sin can go there. After each boy realized 'yup...I've sinned before', I said how God had an amazing idea. If someone could pay for the sin....then He could forgive it.  The only thing was the person who could pay for the sin...would #1...have to be sin-less. Never ever had sinned. And #2 they would have to die to pay for the sin.  So they were all sitting on the edge of their beds.  So I said "good news...Mama loves you so much I'll do it! I'll die so you can go to Heaven". They let that sink in and so I said "ok what were the 2 things God required?" 1. Sinless. 2. would have to die.  So is mama sinless? They really had to think it was cute. I'm like "ok I'll volunteer...No mama is not sinless" and we talked about that.  So Tirzah was sitting there and I said "Tirzah would you do it?" she looked up sheepishly. We went around the room asking if Tirzah had ever sinned and it didn't take long to agree she indeed...had.  So we mentioned Papa! Papa preaches about Jesus...he's a GOOD GUY! What about Papa? Nope Papa sins too.  So I let it all sink in.  There's no one.  :(  Zion piped up and said "yes there is..Jesus never sinned!"  So we talked about Jesus.  He came. He lived. He never sinned. Ever.  Never sneaked a candy and ran outside under the slide to eat it without his mama seeing (Azlan smirked).  He never wacked his sister in the head (they all smirked).  He never sinned. Ever.  He was the only one that could pay for the sin.  So one of the kids asked "why do some people go to Hell?" well b/c they don't want Jesus.  They don't think they need Him and they go their own way.  Someone has to pay. Jesus...or you.  They were fully absorbing every word.  To go to to have Jesus as your ticket.  I sinned...He paid my way! I want Him as my savior.  Chazano right away piped up and said "I want Him.  I want Him to wash my sins away."  Again I didn't jump on it and kept talking.  He brought it up again and said "can I ask Him to save me Mama?" so I said "do you want to pray?" he started praying. For Chazano ... it was a very heart felt prayer.  He said "God I'm so sorry I've done some bad things.  I'm sorry there's no one else to pay my way and that Jesus did.  I want to thank you that Jesus paid for my bad things.  That makes me so happy that I can go to Heaven.  Thank you that Jesus will come inside to help me do good things. If I do bad things I will say I'm sorry to You.  I'm really excited about Heaven God. Really...really. I think it will be fun. But most of all...I 'm really really really excited about looking at Jesus. I can't wait.  Amen".

He was beaming from ear to ear.

We tucked them into bed and I said "Chazano why don't you go tell Daddy?" so he jumped out to tell Daddy. I couldn't help but noticed Zunduka. He was staring off in space. Often at me.  I kept 'ignoring' it.  One time he put his hand up as if he was trying to say something then turned away.  So I said "I love you Duka...have a good sleep" and he said "mama I really want to pray to God" again 'sluffing it off' I said "oh we already prayed" he said "no I want to pray and ask for my sins forgiven." He was so serious. I said "go ahead you can pray" and he sat up and started praying. "I'm so thankful you died for me.  I don't have to go to Hell because Jesus offered to pay for my sin because He didn't have any of his own.  Thank you" and that was pretty much it. Duka is very articulate when he prays and this was very short. He opened his eyes and was shining.  I tucked him in and turned out the lights.

This morning Duka said "mama I had the best sleep I've ever had last night. I closed my eyes and I slept".

At 8 years old....Dean trusted Christ June 29.  Fast forward 27 years to the same night.  Who knew that we would have 2 little boys from the heart of Africa as our sons...that on this same night...would trust Jesus to take them to Heaven.  The same Grace that was extended to their Daddy as a boy...would be extended to them.  They were born on the same day. Moments apart. Zunduka first. In the bush to a dying mother.  Very little hope for their lives.  And here almost 8 years later....Chazano would first trust Jesus and his 'older' brother would follow.  Oh He makes beautiful things. Beautiful things out of our dust.

Dean and I laid on our pillows with a sigh. Tirzah got saved last summer in the Fred Meyer parking lot.  Zion last year as he laid on his pillow one night. Chazano and Zunduka last night.  I talk a lot about God 'bringing orphans home'...and He is.  And we are humbled to be a part of that.  But it's so much bigger...He is really bringing orphans home.  Each one of us...spiritual orphans.  And the God of the universe adopts us into His family and we "become the sons of God". He becomes our Father.

He makes beautiful things.

Out of the dust.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Taizi Fu'An...

Happy Birthday my precious.  Three years ago today...your tummy mommy gave birth to perfect, beautiful, precious little you.  Whatever circumstances led her to leave you a few days later, we are not sure...but He works all things together for good.  You will not stay an orphan.  You are so loved.  So loved.

A few nights ago, I sat and watched that video of you again.  It's never gotten easier.  I had my hand over my mouth the entire time. And when you cried on the rocking horse...I cried with you. I refused to look away from the screen.  When you laid in your crib sucking your empty Haberman bottle and rubbed your hand instantly reached out to rub your hair for you.  My heart breaks for you my precious.

I cannot wait to look into your eyes and let you see love, hope, security and total peace.  All the fear inside of you...will someday go.  Love will replace the fear.  Perfect Love.  He can erase every hurt you've ever felt.  He can make your wounded spirit...whole.

Tonight...I wish I was there celebrating you.  I wish I was holding your fragile little body in my arms as we sang and danced for your birthday.  Today is about you.  Me...on the other side of the world...thanking God in Heaven...for you.  He makes such beautiful things out of dust.  Such beautiful things out of us.

Taizi. You are our crown prince.  Your name means so much and says so much about who you really are.  Not who your little heart things you are. Not who your wounded spirit fears you are. Not who the masses around you...assume you are.  Who you really are.  You are created by a God who has known every day.  Every moment.  Never has a tear fallen without your Father in Heaven...counting them.  Zion said today that it's pretty amazing that God knows how many hairs we have on our heads. Then he paused and said "that's really amazing because that means He knows everything about us doesn't it?"

I dream...really truly dream...of holding your little body close to mine.  I'm praying for your heart. That God will prepare your heart for the abundance of love it's about to receive.

Happy birthday my precious.  This is your last birthday without a forever mommy and daddy to whisper in your ear just how perfect and special you are.  We are counting down the days to you.

(we were mistaken...his birthday was June 26.  We had a mixup with Zihao's bday so that created the confusion).  We sent a birthday cake and package from Red Thread China and are told to expect pictures and we can't wait.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Tanned backs, bleached heads (some of them) and clean bathrooms.

Always clean bathrooms.


So Azlan is a little brown beach bum. He tans perfectly..YES we do sun block but that boy just soaks up the sun. And so does his hair! It's soooo beach-bum-blond.

And clean bathrooms. Always clean bathrooms.


It's what makes my little heart smile when I go to brush the kids' teeth or whatever we are see a clean sink, toilet and yes floor. Let me say...with 4 little boys...someone always ...always...gets distracted while going potty :) And...well...I like clean bathrooms. Since I won't let their childhood be stunted by hearing about how the missed the potty ... I clean bathrooms a lot.  :)

Summer is here and I love summer.

Today after working for a few hours I put Izrael in her swimsuit and got myself in mine...the kids were s.q.u.e.a.l.i.n.g with the delight and thought we'd go in the pool. Ok...there's cold then there's...cold.  Seriously.  I wasn't breathing for a good 15 seconds...and Izrael was wanting to be fully submerged.  Ahhhh.  So we went around the pool for a bit...with the kids all so excited about Izrael's reactions and then...we got out :) You know...we showed up...we left :)  And we came in guessed it....clean bathrooms ;) Just kidding. But thought I mind as well keep going.

Dinner outside...Dean playing catch with the boys....and...bedtime.  It's always a beautiful thing.  Play hard...sleep soundly. Peace downstairs. :)

We are still planning our Both Hands Project.  Our team meeting is July 9.  (Zion's birthday...but we will celebrate it the weekend before).  We will all meet for food, getting to know each other and planning our event. The biggest part of the evening will be mailing our letters for sponsorship.  I did the letter last night...a 2 hour event. For those of you that know me...I'm pretty no-nonsense. Sooo I don't proofread..thus the typos on my blog. I type as I think.  So to sit and painstakingly go through every bit of format of this letter...then to have it proofed by Both Hands and fix it...needed a Starbucks for that one ;)  But it's done and I really hope those of you that receive one of these letters in the mail from us...really take the time to read it. Know the story. And offer to help.

Dean came home tonight with a Starbucks (the one I mentioned above was only dreamed about) and I gave him a slew of compliments for just how amazing he looked today;)  He also bought "salted caramel chocolate ice cream". Seriously.  Post-Izrael pounds...? Yah. Now you know why. :)

Last night I showed Dean pictures of when Izrael was born (I was showing him hair pictures) and I was shocked to see how emotional it made me.  I was immediately oooohing and ahhhhing and confirming there must be at least one more bio Walker baby in the future....? Besides isn't 9 such an odd number to stop at...?  Yes. We are crazy. No we are not announcing anything. Yes...we are crazy.  :)

Back to enjoying my clean bathrooms.  We have bathrooms to clean and for that we are thankful. For 4 little boys that make messy bathrooms....we are eternally thankful.

There are no little things.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

What a gift!

Last night Dean and I had a phone interview with a board of directors from a Christian grant organization.  They are considering our family for a grant that would be a huge help. The interview was just sharing our story of how God has moved our hearts to adoption for the second time...after we were 'done'.  Both Dean and I shared parts of our story. At the end of the call, they asked if they could pray with us.  Each one (four of them) praying for us on the phone and both Dean and I were speechless.  Their hearts were so evident...pure love for the 'least of these'.  Whether we receive a grant or not...we were so blessed last night.

Last night my beautiful Aunt Ada passed away.  So young. So sad.  My mom's sister.  Mom is one of 11 children.  Aunt Ada became a born again Christian in the last few years before her husband died of cancer 7 years ago.  We have so much peace knowing her sins were forgiven and she was right with God.  Saved by grace.

Please pray for my mom and her family and especially for my grandmother, Nan.  Nan is not taking the news very well and she's very sick herself...currently in the hospital in Carbonear, NL.  (eastern Canada).

Thank you for praying.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

My boy.

So we went to Spokane for Azlan's Audiology appt.  The doctor says "oh would squeal b/c it's set to it's most sensitive setting to go through the plastic and the elastic headband....we have to change the setting to attach it to his head!" :) Lovely. Would have been nice if Dr. Husein knew that :)

So he worked with it and put it on. Azlan was funny. The best part is watching his eyes. They get all focused and then start darting with every sound. He immediately said "I hear people in the hallway" :)  Later he was saying "I hear someone shut the door. Can you hear that?"  "I hear a fan. Who hears a fan?" the doctor was laughing at his excitement.

Everything went extremely well.  We then went in the sound room (oh how many times I have been in the sound room...since he was 3 weeks old) where they can measure at what frequency he hears.  It was the same as with the headband but he said they expect that for now and that it may actually improve.

One of the cool moments was when the doctor told Azlan to speak and then tell us where the sound was coming from and he said his nose. The doctor smiled so I asked what that was about and he said "before the BAHA he would have pointed into his left ear...the BAHA allows him to hear the sounds right from the mouth" :)

He explained how this will help with localization but that takes time for the brain to catch on that there's that slight delay when it's coming from his right side...and then interpret that as "oh it's from the right side of my head".  He said it will not help with back ground noise. He will still lip read and that's good.

Krispy Kreme donuts for the road...and then we were on our way home.

When going to bed last night, Dean took his BAHA off and he said "Can I sleep with it...? It's my ear" it was really cute. But no. $4000 ears do not lay on your pillow :)

We had to wait for Dr. Husein to get out of surgery and he looked at Azlan's head. I never mentioned that the sore started again from the inside and has now surfaced to the outside. Thankfully Dr. Husein was completely open to hearing from our friend (a renowned infections disease doctor) and followed exactly his protocol for a 'foreign body infection'. oral antibiotics for one whole year. Yes...that's what I said. Gulp. Thankfully Azlan is otherwise healthy and this is something we have to do to kill the infection from the inside out...for good.

Adoption news...not much. Except our Both Hands project is moving forward. We got our first supplier donation which is very exciting.  A tree trimming company is donating their time and services for the day and we need it!

We also received notification tonight from a grant organization that we have an interview with them Monday night! That felt very out of the blue as the last several notices we have received from all of my applications were "not at this time.". We are praying and trusting God that He will supply every need.  No I've had a few moments. Then I quickly realize this is nothing to do with me and God has totally 'got this'.

My aunt is very very sick in Newfoundland.  Thankfully she is ready to meet Jesus and though it is truly so heartbreaking for my Mom and her family...she is really ready to meet Jesus. One look into his face...and it's instant peace.

My heart is breaking for her and for my Nan (mom's mom).  Please pray for them.

If you love bags...

Check this site out!

1. She's a friend of mine.
2. They are super cute!!!
3. They are custom made for YOU and super affordable.
4. I love sharing a good deal :)

Monday, June 18, 2012

There are no 'little things'.

Ever say "'s the little things..." ? :) I'm starting to realize there are no little things.

If you are a parent...

If you are an adoptive parent...

There are no little things.

The 'little things' are really the things that matter.

The things you will look back on years from now and smile in your heart at.

Sadly the things that often take most of our days ... are things we won't even remember.

There are no little things.

Yesterday when we arrived in Spokane for the funeral...there was a gathering of homeless people under a bridge. We could see their cardboard room dividers...make-shift beds...and definitely their unclean clothing. The kids were spell-bound.  We took the moment to talk about gratefulness. (We talk a lot about gratefulness in our family).  We talked about how very much we have to thank God for every day.  The little things. Your bed. Your pillow. Your blanket.  Your jammies.  The running water we have in our home.  The fact that Mommy cleans all of your clothes. Your teeth. Your hair.  The list went on.

I love the purity of their hearts. Zion was glossy eyed as he imagined living under the bridge. Zunduka started recounting what it was like living in the village in Zambia where they didn't have the basics we have.


Last night as I was putting them into bed we prayed. I prayed then each of the children prayed.

Zion:  " am so thankful for all the things we have that we don't even think about. But I'm so glad that YOU think about them for us and give them to us. You must love us SO much!"

Chazano: "It made me sad today to see all those peoples under the bridge on our trip.  They looked poor. I'm thankful for what you give us and most of all God....for my mommy and daddy. My mommy and daddy love me and I love them.  Thank you for them God."

Zunduka: "God thank you for a warm bed, a warm home, clean clothes, good food and that we never ever go hungry or lonely.  Thank you for loving us. All the way in Africa.  For giving us a forever mommy and daddy when our tummy mommy died.  Thank you God.

Azlan: God....thank you for a gooooooooood time. Thank you for Zihao and Taizi. I pray we will raise lots of money to bring them home suuuuuuuper fast.  Give Zihao and Taizi a goooooooood time.

Azahria: made me sad today to see those poor little girls that their mommy and daddy died. I can't imagine if my mommy and daddy died. Thank you for their auntie and uncle that love them.  Thank you that you will take care of them. Please help them not to be sad.  Amennnnn.

This morning in school Chazano was reading short sentences and then had to fill in the blank. On Friday he reallllly struggled with very basic words. The more he struggled the more he felt overwhelmed looking ahead at what he had to read so we just ended his for the day.  Today I sat with him and he read EVERY word at a very quick pace.  He looked at me and said " Mama...I feel so proud of myself today. The other day I couldn't do it and I felt like I would never be able to read. The other kids read so well and today I feel like I CAN do it and maybe someday I WILL be able to read books".  I got a lump in my throat. I told him "I am proud of you too. You did amazing" and he was beaming from ear to ear.

The little things.

Yesterday when little Coral held Dean's finger and wailed when she was taken hit me.  And all day today when Izrael would come reach for me I got that same lump in my throat.  No one holds her like Mommy.  Even though Coral has lots of people doting on's not mommy and she knows it.

The little things.

When I visited with Steffani the widow we are helping for our Both Hands Project...she pointed around the house to the non-functioning window blinds. The sliding door that is always fogged up so you can't see through it.  The sink that leaks like crazy so there's a big bucket underneath it.

The little things.  She beamed when I told her we can fix these to her. At no cost to her. We can help.

The little things.

There are no such things as little things.

These are the things that matter.

Life is made up of moments.  That's why I rarely go to the mailbox without a giant camera around my neck. When a child leaps in the air for a butterfly...I want to capture that. Not just the big day at the zoo. No ... the little things that make their heart sing all day long.   This is what life is made of.

We think it's important that we expose our children to suffering people. Orphaned children. Homeless adults.  Dying cancer patients.  Giving them a thankful heart for each 'little thing' they have.   It's so sad when a child...or adult for that matter...loses appreciation for little things and becomes un-grateful.  We are living in such an "entitlement - society" so we get that we are going upstream.  We hear it often from well meaning people: "what about college?" "how in the world will you pay for college for NINE children?"  Good point. We won't.  Our children will work as we did...and pay their way through school. They will work hard at good grades to qualify for scholarships. We think it's much more important ... to give a child a LIFE...than to give each child life on a silver platter. Our children are loved beyond words. Cared for. Nurtured.  And thriving.  They have hearts for the broken. For less fortunate.  This is how we measure success in raising our children.

If you ask each one of our children how many children you want when you are a mommy or daddy...each one will tell you a number then an additional number of how many they want to adopt.  That is beautiful to us. Maybe we can't change the world...but when that duplicates through to absolutely can. We all leave a legacy...what we do ... our children will do. If it repeats and repeats through our 9 children and their children...what was once "little things" ... can indeed change the world.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

It feels like chaos...

yet somehow there's Peace.

That's how I would summarize the funeral we attended today. We left early to head to Spokane (2.5hours drive) for the memorial service of Jay & Katrina Erickson. They were a young couple (26 and 27yr) that moved to Zambia as missionaries just 3 months ago.  There were killed June 1 when their plane (he is a bush pilot) crashed into the Zambezi River.  Their beautiful little girls ages 3 and 18 months were being babysat by other missionaries while Mommy and Daddy were able to fly together for the first time in 3 months.

We met the family today...Jay's sister and her husband who will be the permanent caregivers of the children. The grandparents (lovely people) and many other important people in their lives.

I was most touched by my conversation with Katrina's mom.  She was so sweet. The girls have been staying with her up until now...from what I understand tonight they were going to their aunt and uncles.  She just seemed to really be in touch with their grief even at a young age.  She said a few times that we don't give young children enough credit and that they understand much more than we think.  She talked about the turmoil and the random temper tantrums for no apparent reason.  She said how when they are acting up for no reason if you talk of Mommy and Daddy or show's peace.

It broke our heart listening to her and seeing the little girls.

I told her that when I went to Africa in April 2010, Azahria turned 2. So a full year younger than Marina (their oldest).  When I arrived in Seattle airport 28 days later...I will never forget the look on little Azahria's face.  It was a "oh are alive...?!" look. Her hug was hesitant. She didn't want Daddy out of sight. In the weeks that followed she asked for Daddy when she got a boo boo. She asked for Daddy to pray with her at bedtime and she asked for Daddy for her bath. It broke my heart yet I understand in her fragile little heart she wasn't quite ready to let that wall down. Would Mommy leave again? Would she come back this time? Daddy isn't going anywhere.

They absolutely know something isn't right.  She talks very openly with the children and shows pictures frequently. This is Mommy and Daddy. You will always be reminded of them. They are not coming back. They love you more than you know. They are with Jesus.

I had this persistent lump in my throat the whole day there.

I would summarize it all with ... they feel chaos...but there is definitely peace.

Please keep praying for this family and these precious little girls.

We stayed for lunch and then came home later this afternoon.

We were on the balcony of the church. The kids were so cute really taking in everything.

Here we are with Jay's brother Lance and his wife and youngest child. They are also missionaries.  He spoke briefly and emotionally at the service.  His thought was simple:  it's not about honoring them for how they died. They didn't intend to die. It's about honoring the choices they made in life. They sacrificed everything in life...everything material....everything to go and move their young family to Zambia.  That's what we need to take note of .  That's worth honoring.

We wanted some photos of their little girls Marina (3) and Coral (18m).  Here they are in the middle of our children :)

Coral, Marina and Izrael

This was pretty cute when she lit up and smiled :)

Pretty close in size. Izrael was a tad taller but they were cute sitting side by side.

awww. Little Coral.  

Dean was standing by the stairs and she saw his hand and grabbed a finger. She never did look up. It was an emotional moment. Our best guess is she just assumed it was her daddy.  :( She held on and on and never looked up. Finally her uncle came and took her away and she sobbed so hard Dean looked at me and said "that was so sad. I'm sure she thought I was her Daddy" :(

Saturday, June 16, 2012


Today was so beautiful. When Dean got home from work we ate outside in the yard...and then I set both Tirzah and Azahria up with a Mama-pedicure. It was pretty cute.  Of course they wanted "patterns" on their toes of random colors that didn't match with their nails :)  The most anticipated event was the bonfire. Even though we are doing them often they get so excited and I love it.  The fire and their excitement.

S'mores and more s'mores later we let them stay up 'late' and then tucked them all in. Dean was pretty tired as we sat out by the fire listening to Tenth Avenue North (my favorite...ever).  So I came in and just in typical Janice-fashion decided that tonight was the night for my biggest playroom project ever. :)

Three years ago this month I took a pencil one night and started drawing on our playroom wall. I had never drawn more than a stick man in my life but do come from an artistic family.  When I stood back and looked at the wall I couldn't believe I had just free-handed "a Findow in my Window" so while I had the 'talent' (who knew how long it would last! :) I painted it.  And that began the project. The toughest one was floor to ceiling...a juggling Cat in the Hat himself.  I love him.  :)  We now have the Sneetches, Fox in Sox, the Lorax...Thing 1 and Thing 2...and few other creatures.  But this one tonight is the one I was most nervous about...

The stack of turtles from Yertle.

I drew it about a month ago.

That's definitely a key part but painting it is when I'm nervous I maybe lost this strange spontaneous talent I haven't used for 3 years :)  Well it's done tonight :)

I sure hope the next people that buy this house have kids!!! :)

Here's a few pics of our sunny day :)

This swimsuit (sooo cute) is size fits her perfect!

Dean came home with Starbucks in hand (one of the many reasons I love him;)...Izrael stayed close by and held my straw most of the time...

So when I lifted my head she came right in for the straw. And...I let her ;) 

I love this pic. I'm loving her reaction which was a shudder and ... that was the last time she reached for the straw ;)

We love Zion as a photographer...he just keeps snapping pics until one turns out :)

And not only did I get a kiss...but on camera!!! Izray LOVES kissing the kids...but not Mama. Hmm. :)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Summer fun!

Our kids are actually still in school due to Azlan's surgeries, infection and other times we took extended time off due to visitors etc. They are almost done and we just may do 2 days a week all summer.

It's still summer though! :) We are having lots of fun especially in our backyard! The garden is growing (not going to lie...the kids are more into this than mama ) and the grass is green...pool is pit is being used often...Love!

We had some friends over for a fire the other night.  Kids were so cute together and of course everyone really got into the s'mores!

Tonight we went for a drive to the river and the kids had so much fun.  They love the little things...which is pretty awesome. Skipping rocks.  A tire swing.  Hanging out with the family.

When we were getting in the van after all of our playing and watching the sun set it was well past "bed time" and Zunduka said "wow..I feel like a man in the desert needing water more than anything!" it was very funny and said in a dry way as only he could. Dean and I had a good laugh :)

After everyone was in bed...Zion came to the stairs and knowing you don't get out of bed unless something is really wrong he said "something is really wrong Mama you need to come see Chazano".  So I bolt upstairs and Chazano is laying in his bed sobbing. Not crying. Not just tears. Really really crying. Tears. Runny nose.  Sobs. He's got himself really worked up...and he says "don't make me be a daddy... Mama I don't ever want to be a Daddy!" (Daddy means a grown up to him).  So I quickly pull him close and tell him he's a little boy and he's not going to be a daddy any time soon. He just cried and cried and kept telling me all of his fears and looked at me right in the eye and said "I don't ever want to leave you...don't ever ever make me leave you please mama..." and the tears started all over again :( Poor boy.  So after I had talked to him about he'll be with us for a lot time and never ever will he have to leave Daddy and I he said "but what if God takes you to Heaven and you die" and again the sobs started.  So we had a little heart to heart about how God is good. And you can trust Him.  He only wants good for us.  We can trust Him. 100%.  We don't know about tomorrow but we trust Him. And the one thing we know is that never ever...ever...ever will God leave Him.  He was looking at me really seriously...and said "He won't...?" it was cute.  Finally he relaxed and laid back on his pillow. We prayed and he was calm.  

He has such a fear of being left.  Much much much....much...more than our bio children.  It's really quite sad yet healing to see him express it.  How long he's kept that inside we have no idea. But we love that he's talking.

And we love him. 


Below is the link to donate to our Both Hands Project. Consider sponsoring us with a tax deductible donation to work for a day on a widow's home and bring our children home from China!