I woke yesterday morning. Singing. A song I haven't heard in quite a while and I don't know it well.
It wouldn't leave my head.
I finally stopped. And smile when I realized what I was singing. All this time. God often speaks to me through song and it's the most amazing thing when I wake literally singing and I haven't heard the song recently. It's often just one line...that won't leave me. When I look up the lyrics I see just how applicable it is to me ... right then.
Last night Tirzah had my iPad and saw the pictures of Taizi. Oh my poor girl. She has such a tender heart. She immediately teared up and said she felt like she was just going to cry and cry b/c she was so said for Taizi. She kept saying "he looks so sick...and sad...and like a baby" "He needs a mommy and daddy". She had her hand over her mouth as she kept staring at his picture.
Thank you God for the gift of empathy in our children. It's a beautiful thing. To feel pain. Other's pain.
We were driving home from somewhere...just her and I and so I suggested we pray. I prayed then she prayed. She poured out her heart to God. "God please let Mommy and Daddy go to China in September...we need this letter...please let us get this letter this week. God will you take care of Taizi? He looks so sad...and that makes me sad. I can't wait to hold him. I know he's three...but he's little. Amen".
I said from the beginning that I wouldn't wish for a LOA that I would just wait and keep busy with our busy life. But since those photos...my heart is waiting every time the phone rings...for Lifeline to call.
My sweet friend came over this morning for coffee. And sincerely asked how I'm doing.
Another sweet friend called me tonight to say she saw the photos and is praying with us. She feels the pain of a mother's heart just looking at his pictures.
I went back tonight in emails and found Taizi's measurements from February that Red Thread China gave us. I'm thinking we will have to go off of that and start getting clothing ready. 31" height. 19" head. 4.3" feet. 18 pounds.
I know you may not know what to say...when you see the pictures. But know in your heart how very 'all in' we are. We are not doubting. Questioning. Wondering. Our hearts are broken for the pain of our baby boy and what lies ahead of him. We are waiting to go and bring him home.
We are asking you to pray. Would you team up with us and pray for our LOA to arrive quickly? We do believe there's a sense of urgency and we are going to knock on Heaven's door for our child. We believe in the power of prayer...we have seen it time and time again. Yes He knows everything but He wants us to come and ask.
All this time.
The song God gave me through the night and I woke with it on my lips yesterday morning:
"All This Time" by Britt Nicole