Saturday, July 7, 2012

He wants our heart.

Psalm 50.

7. “Hear, O my people, and I will speak,
    O Israel, and I will testify against you:
    I am God, your God. 
I do not rebuke you for your sacrifices
    or your burnt offerings, which are ever before me.
I have no need of a bull from your stall
    or of goats from your pens, 
10 for every animal of the forest is mine,
    and the cattle on a thousand hills. 
11 I know every bird in the mountains,
    and the creatures of the field are mine.
12 If I were hungry I would not tell you,
    for the world is mine, and all that is in it. 
13 Do I eat the flesh of bulls
    or drink the blood of goats?
14 Sacrifice thank offerings to God,
    fulfill your vows to the Most High, 
15 and call upon me in the day of trouble; 
    I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”

This is the scripture God gave Dean when we had just surrendered to His clear call for us to not only adopt "Ethan" (Zihao) but also "Tommy" (Taizi).  I can still see Dean coming into the room to show me what he had just read after praying for peace about the financial side of this adoption. The finances which seemed...overwhelming.  $40,000-43,000...? We couldn't even fathom it.  Honestly if it were $10,000 we didn't have it...but $40,000....?  Sure we surrendered but now what?  

Dean went and did his devotions only to read this (above) in his daily reading.  The part that jumped out to him was verse 9 and on.

I have no need of a bull from your stall....

If I were hungry I would not tell you...

The world is mine.

All that is in it.

Fulfill your vows to me.

(Jonah 2:8-9....what I have vowed I will make good. Salvation is from the Lord).

We were humbled. And had a clear vision. God knew we didn't have the $40,000. He wasn't asking us for the $40,000. 

He was asking for our heart.

$40,000...? He owns the world and ALL that is in it. 

Need our money...?

He wasn't asking for our money.

Interestingly is easier to give.  

But my heart? Total surrender? My dreams and plans? The rest of my life?

That's what He wanted.  And that morning we knew...we were going to see Him provide in amazing ways. Through people we would never expect.  

There have been times when my chest has been tight. My stomach hurting.  How? When? What next? We still have about $22,000 left? In just a few months? Where...?  Who...? How...?  Help...!  And it has been Dean. The one who was most 'stressed' about finances in the beginning...that has maintained his peace that God didn't ask for us to come up with $40,000.  He was very clear that this is His...every part of it. He's got this.  And I keep surrendering. "Keep" as in constant...repetitive...surrender.

Tonight Katelyn's Fund emailed me the most touching email....letting us know we received a $3000 grant to bring Zihao and Taizi home.  

Here's the email:

Dear Dean and Janice,

I usually call families but really felt like this email was the perfect time to tell you that we have approved your family for a grant from Katelyn's Fund.  The grant is for $3,000.  We will send it director to your agency.  We pray this is an affirmation of Him providing and that He is so pleased with you walking in obedience to Him.

We were blessed with out time with you guys the other night. Clearly He is leading and directing your lives and His Spirit is within you. We are confident your children will see your deep love for Him and they will also learn to be lovers of our Savior.  We are praying for healing on each one and for His peace, encouragement and affirmation to be with both of you.  We love that your greatest desire is for them to know and love Him.

We were so touched with the ways that you seek and hear His voice and walk in ways of authentically living out the gospel in the things you do. Not by the world's standard ... but by His calling.  We really sense that He has so much in store for your familly. He is using your family to make an impact on the little ones in your home and so many more He desires to bring to His home.  Please let us know any updates and ways we can pray with you. We look forward to walking this journey with you for years to come.  

In him,

Sheila and Katelyn's Fund Board

Humbled.  With a heart of thanksgiving we say thank you to this organization and most important to our God in Heaven. We serve such an amazing God. He loves and cares for us and never ever...has made us walk alone.

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