Friday, July 13, 2012

Loved.

Proverbs 24:3-4

By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.


Proverbs 24:11-12

Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
If you say " But we knew nothing about htis"
does not He who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not He who guards your life...know it?
Will He not repay each person according to what He has done?


When we felt compelled to consider little Tommy...much beyond what we were ready to surrender to...I poured out my heart to God and begged Him to give us a crystal clear answer. No guessing. No wondering. No questioning.  Tell us yes or no and we will do it.

I sat down reluctantly to read my reading for the day which was several books of the Bible ( one chapter in each).

When I read Proverbs 24 I had chills when I read verses 3 and 4.

The masses of humanity would not consider little children like "Tommy" (Taizi) a rare or beautiful treasure.  But choosing to view life through 'God-lenses' everything changes. Ever try that?  The surface is merely the surface to God.  He sees so much beyond.

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for i have rejected him.
The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart"

Using God's lens...

rare and beautiful treasures.


Pouring out our hearts to God when my eyes got further down the chapter to verses 12-13...I'm not going to lie it was as if it jumped out in 3D on the page.

It was God speaking to me.

"But God...we agreed to Zihao. One child. That was what we surrendered to. Not 2.  This isn't what we knew about...we didn't sign up for this!"

"Right.  You didn't know.  I knew.  I know you didn't know I was asking you to adopt Tommy.  You couldn't have handled me asking you to adopt Tommy"

"But what ...? How...? Us....?"

"I know your heart. I hold your life. It is I that gives you life and breath.  I knew it.  I planned it. I knew it"

"......"

"Rescue him from death.  Save him from the slaughter"

"how...?'

"I guard your life. And I guard his.  I will repay you.  Do it for me."

And in that moment we knew this was our answer.

"Yes, Lord."

People often say "how do you know it was God asking you?"
For us:
 1. it lines up with His Word.
2.It wasn't the desire of our heart.  We had to surrender.
3. He is persistent.  He will do what it takes to get your attention.

That's not always the case with everyone (point number 2--point number 1 IS always the case).  But for us we knew that we knew...that we knew.

The moment that we said "yes" it was amazing how He gave us joy. Excitement. Compassion. Passion.  Emotion.  Love.  For our little Taizi.


I wrote last week that I was concerned about the lack of birthday party photos and felt it was not something the orphanage wanted us to see.  Easy to prop a child on a rocking horse and make them look 'good'.  Sit at a table and eat cake...? Looking happy...?  Bit more challenging.

We finally received 2 photos.

My emotions reminded me of when I lost the baby in Africa.

I was numb. It was hours later that I cried and cried. And cried.

I saw the photos and hours later on my way to Vancouver WA for the day for business I had this lump in my throat that wouldn't go away.

I got out of the car and called my friend Jenny.  I just started crying. My heart was broken.  I wasn't regretting anything.  My heart was broken for little Taizi.  God so specifically chose him for us to bring home.  There are thousands...millions of orphans. He didn't say "adopt". He said "rescue HIM".

Jenny is such an amazing friend. She was strong. She talked about Daniel. She reminded me that Daniel didn't sign up to be Daniel.  "Pick me!!! I go in the lions den!!!" "Pick me...I'll defend my God to the masses..."  No God equipped him to be a Daniel.  God chose him.  He was equipped not because of his genetics.  Not because of his longsuffering.  Not because of his patience. Not because of his firm resolve.  He was equipped because God equipped him.

She paused. Her voice was soft. "Janice...there is no doubt in my mind God has equipped you for Taizi.  He's got you. He's got him.  I love you."

I dried my eyes and hung up the phone.

I got in the car and stared at his picture.

I have never seen a picture of Taizi without instantly reaching my fingers towards his face to stroke his hair.

My love...you are chosen. You are more.  You are ours.  You are so loved.


As my friend Jenny Groothuis said... you are not a number.  You are not a statistic.  You have a name.  Your name is all about you and God's plan for you. You are Taizi Tommy Walker.  Your name means "crown prince"  
THAT is who you are.





1 comment:

  1. Lamentations 3:22-23

    It lifts me up and challenges me to see you and Dean being so faithful to Him! I've been enjoying John14:27- When so much in life takes faith- "My peace I give to you..."

    Praying for you and your family (all of it : ))

    In Him, Cara

    ReplyDelete