Monday, July 9, 2012

"We didn't choose where we were born".

Dean called a contractor friend a few days ago to see if he would be able to donate his time and energy to helping at our Both Hands Project.  Not only did he say "YES" but he said this quote "We didnt' choose where we were born..." and that hit me.  We didn't get to choose our birth place...our circumstances...our financial status...our parents...

This contractor friend of Dean's was born in Mexico and told Dean he's had to work hard his entire life to get ahead.  His comment was to do with Zihao and Taizi being born in China...given up at birth...and on top of that having special medical needs.

Rabbit trail warning...

Last week we had a business leadership even and we needed a private room so we held it at a local Applebee's.  Our server was a young girl, quiet, prompt and fantastic.  As Dean and I were cleaning up at the end it was just us and her.  We asked her how long she has worked there. 4 years. She stressed that if our experience was positive to please leave feedback b/c she would get more hours with that.  So I asked about her hours. She said they have been cut and "I'm on a budget...getting part time hours hurts me".  She quietly opened up about her life.  She is 25 years old.  Born to an alcoholic mother.  Has a younger brother.  Her mother walked out when she was 7 years old.  She spent time with her grandmother but felt the sting of abandonment.  She said at a very early age she made a conscious decision to be more.  To take a less travelled path. Definitely the one her own mother had not taken.  She talked about how hard life was...and how it got so much better when her Dad took her and her brother in full time.  She loved her Daddy. She said he was such a hard worker and a good man.  He died 6 years ago when she was 19.  Knowing it was a risk, I asked. I was shocked. He died in a canoe accident in Horn Rapids.  The lights were low in Applebee's and I was thankful.  I couldn't blink much b/c it was about to force the tears out of my eyes down my face.

She has never had her liscense so she moved into an apartment right across from Applebee's so she could walk to work. She said her brother has taken the easier path.  Alcohol. Drugs. Now has a young child.

Literally alone in this world.

About 10 minutes from my house.

"we didn't choose where we were born".

I was praying for the words to speak. What do you say?  What do you think? What would you say...?

I asked her if I could write down her name and number...

She said "sure ...." and I looked up and said "do you ever need a friend? Someone to take you to coffee? Someone that cares about you...?" She quietly tilted her head and said "oh...I'd like that".  I again was humbled. Speechless.

Who am I ...

That I was not only born here...

but born into a family that loves Jesus...

a family that loves me...

Who am I...?

Taizi.

Born on the other side of the world.

We don't know the circumstances but we do know...that in the world's standards...this little boy was born 'less than perfect'.  Deformed ears. A severe cleft lip and palate.

My fingers (which simply move as I think...) paused several times for me to write that sentence.  How can I use the word 'deformed' to describe a creation...? Not a broken mold. A created being. Created in the image of God.  Sadly...that's the label given.

Little Taizi.

Assumably ... has spent the last 3 years of his life... laying in a crib.  His head is flattened. His hair is missing in patches.  The only sparkle seen in those eyes ... are when he's laying in his crib.  Clearly that's his comfortable...familiar place.

My heart went here tonight b/c here we are....13 days after his birthday. .. still waiting for photos from the party we sent him.  I can't help but wonder if those are pictures they don't want us to see.  Taking photos of him propped on a rocking horse works.  But sitting at a table 'eating cake'...?  If this is the case...little do the know how they have nothing to be concerned about. This is truly an unconditional adoption.  We aren't adopting him based on what we think or know about him.  This is based on a God in Heaven who formed him...and formed us.  And asked us to be the family that would love him...unconditionally.

We didn't choose where we were born.

Did we?

The circumstances. The events of our life. Our family.  Jenelle didn't choose it.  Neither did Taizi.

Neither did you.

If you are blessed more than them...

do something with it.


1 comment:

  1. Hello again Janice,
    I 've been reading your blog and this entry along with many others brought tears to my eyes. I'm so touched how the Lord put you and your husband there to be a friend to Jenelle. I guess part of what hit me is that I, too, have struggled with abandonment issues and having a family member impacted by alcoholism. It is a painful road! I hope Jenelle is doing better!
    And I also wanted to say, I LOVE your children's names! God bless you and yours! Lori

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