Sunday, September 23, 2012


What's on my mind lately...? Big decisions.  With very little time to make them.


I can't leave the nagging feeling about leaving Azlan home.

He needs more time and attention than the other children.  He takes more work.  More patience. And often an interpreter (one of his siblings). 

My PRO list of taking him with us:

*He does so much better one-on-one.  We take him on lots of Mommy/Daddy dates b/c he definitely thrives in solo time.
*As brave as he is...he doesn't like being alone at all! (what a great family for him to be in!) But he feels being 'left out' more than any of the other children.
*He really feels a connection to Taizi and Zihao because of their medical conditions.  I believe it would really help if Azlan were there with them in China.
*When I went to Africa for 28 days...he regressed so severely in speech therapy.  It was awful and took months to get back where he was.  That was when he was with his I do have concerns.

My CON list...
*cost.  :(

1 full extra return flight plus the cost of his passport and Chinese visa (the latter 2 costing close to $350.)

We have talked. Are praying for clarity.

Dean's pro list:

*Azlan would thrive spending that much time with just Mommy, Daddy and Izrael. 

Dean's con list:


We are on the same page.



  1. Praying you get peace one way or another... *hug*

  2. oh tha is a hard decision. Praying you find peace either way.
    Hugs friend.
    Is Dean going to get the boys him self an option for you? It would be really really hard but I know lots of people have done it in the past.

  3. Hey Carla! I know people do send their husband's amazes me that it works out since many of these children (likely Taizi) has never seen a man before. No that's not an option for us. We are just trying to see what is best. Dean thinks we should just get his passport so we are ready...I really hate the not knowing. Honestly most of this stems from that awful feeling deep inside of leaving the kids when I know exactly what it's like to be on the other side of the planet ... ;(