I'll be honest...I'm a missionary's kid and I don't think I've ever known what that has meant. I have sung it in a hymn but don't recall knowing what it was.
Last night as I sat to read my Bible I paused and prayed. My heart still felt hesitant and I knew I had to surrender..again (there's a theme here). I prayed for something. God give me something from you. Speak to me...I'm praying You will speak to me.
I was in my reading in 1 Samuel.
1. Samuel 7. God had protected His people against the Philistines at Mizpah.
When the Philistines heard that Israel had assembled at Mizpah, the rulers of the Philistines came up to attack them. And when the Israelites heard of it, they were afraid because of the Philistines. They said to Sameuel, "do not stop crying out to the Lord our God for us, that He may rescue us from the hand of the Philistines".
In the verses that follow the Philistines engaged in battle and Israel had the victory.
vs. 12. Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mispah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying "thus far has the Lord helped us".
I stopped right in my tracks. I read and reread. Here I was doubting. Not if God had called us. Not if God had provided. But in my heart of constant sad-faith...asking if God would continue to provide. Would He lead us this far ... for panic and mayhem. He answered in such a beautiful way. Stop...Janice...and build your Ebenezer. They literally put a stone on the ground to remember that so far...God was with us.
So last night...and today. I acknowledge I don't know what the next few weeks look like. I don't know how or when or the specifics of His provision for the rest of this journey. I didn't know where $32,000 would come from and yet it did...and I freely admit I don't know where the necessary $8000+ will come from. What I do know...is "thus far...has the Lord helped us".
In other words...never once. Has He left us on our own. Never once.
Thank You, God for helping us thus far. I pause. Reflect and remember. And give thanks.