Tonight Chazano was acting exactly like when I went to have baby Izrael. Spaced. Baby talk. Wringing his hands as he's talking. Staring off in space. Wouldn't talk. :( This is what happens when he's scared.
I dragged out the putting-Azahria Peace-to-bed-process as long as I could just to savor it. She painted me a massive picture tonight of her and Mama with silly hats with grabber arms. I cried.
I packed Azahria's bag. And Chazano, Zunduka and Zion's are close to being ready.
Dean has been working since before we all got out of bed this morning. It's 9:23pm right now and he's still not home. Good news is tomorrow he won't be working.
Our good friend that is watching our kids came over to talk some final things this afternoon. I had a lump in my throat when she left.
My heart is in a total state of conflict.
The constant advice we are being given is to "truly enjoy your trip". I think my friends know me well. I'm leaving half of my heart behind ... on the other side of the world...to bring the rest of it home.
The only peace I feel inside is that we are bringing the 'neediest' two of our children. I would be sobbing right now if we were leaving Azlan and Izrael home. They would struggle the most. The 5 we are leaving are so beyond excited be staying with the Hills. They adore our kids and their greatest goal is for our children to have 3 weeks of amazing memories. How beautiful is that...?
Remember that "would be sobbing" thought...? Well. Yah. Nevermind...:(
If I didn't know that I know...that I know...that this is right exactly where God wants us to be...doing right exactly what God wants us to do...bringing home right exactly the children God chose to be in our family....then I'd be questioning my sanity right now for leaving our family...again.
To those of you following our journey...please pray for us. Pray for our children. All of our children. For their hearts. All of them. Those that stay behind ... those that come with...those that we will be soon meeting for the first time. For our safety...and for very smooth skies. That's for real. The God that the wind and seas obey...would calm the skies for this trip. For God's hand over every part of our journey in every part of our family.
From our hearts...thank you.