Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Testing.

Yes...testing.  We are ready for the test to be over.  Have we passed yet...? If only it worked like that.

Today I crumbled under the weight of it all.

When we got the 'you were not approved for a grant at this time' letter...I started to cry. Really cry.

 I poured out my heart to God.

 We stepped out in faith against our ideas of timing...we felt like we jumped off a cliff because You said 'jump'.  You have provided..miraculously...every step of the way.  Please don't stop now.  We are so close...yet so far away.  Getting on the plane is impossible at this moment.  Please tell me what to do and I'll do it.  Yes...yes I know that's my weakness. I'm a do-er...waiting is not my speciality.  Faith is much harder than any physical labor You could ever ask of me.  Yes... I trust You. I...trusted... You. I trusted You when people openly questioned us.  Told us we were crazy.  To look at the numbers...that You wouldn't call us to something we didn't have the finances for. We knew that wasn't true. You had asked us to trust you BECAUSE the finances weren't there.  You haven't let us down...not once in this journey.   Why am I feeling it now...? 7 days til we are on a plane to China...7 days...You know that right, God...?  Please show me where to read...I want to know what You have to say"

My Bible always opens to Jonah 2.

"Really God...? Jonah 2 again? I know that verse. I LOVE that verse. That's one of the reasons we are in this spot today...because I knew Jonah 2:8 was Your message to us.

Jonah 2:8
Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
verse 9
But I with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to You.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the Lord.

It was in reading that verse I knew what You were asking of us. To let go of our worthless idols...our ideals of what we envisioned for our lives. Our family.  To not forfeit what You had in store for us.  That was our moment of ... 'Speak Lord, Your servant is listening.'

Ok. I'll read it again.

Jonah 2

From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.

He said:
"In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me.
From the depths of the grave I called for help,
and You listened to my cry.

You hurled me into the deep,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers swept over me.

I said, 'I have been banished from your sight;
yet I will look again toward your holy temple.'

The engulfing waters threatened me,
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.

To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit,
O Lord my God.

When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered You, Lord,
and my prayer rose to You,
to Your holy temple.

Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to You.
What I have vowed I will make good.

Salvation comes from the Lord."

And the Lord commanded the fish,
and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.


In my distress...I called to the Lord.  That's where I am right now Lord. 'In my distress'.  I'm calling to you...Jonah knew You had answered him. Jonah is sitting in the belly of the whale as he says "He answered me".   Can I be so sure of Your promises that I can say it in the past tense...? In my distress I called to the Lord...and He answered me.

From the depths of the grave I called for help...
and You listened to my cry.

What I have vowed...I did make a promise to trust You that day we said yes.  I said I would go by faith and not by sight. Sight said "no. Not now. This time next year should work. Not now".  Faith said "jump...He won't let you fall".

What I have vowed...I will make good.

Salvation comes from the Lord.

We are trusting You to deliver us Lord.  Though it's in the 11th hour...salvation comes from You and only You.


2 comments:

  1. I needed to hear these verses too (Jonah 2:8-9), I don't remember hearing them before. Thank you!!!

    ReplyDelete