Those first few days were scary. They were me constantly looking to Heaven saying "ok Lord...now what?" He was so far gone by all outward appearance. He sat in trances. He only focused to see his hands just cms from his face. He sang the same tune over and over and over again. He rocked back and forth. He never noticed the children...only the mirror. And he hit himself violently as he sang. He was text book traumatized and had such severe institutional behaviors. Combined with serious health problems and 'significant mental disability' we really had no idea what behavior was from what.
He was lost. Sad. Empty.
A light in his eyes? his eyes could barely focus. And when they did ... it was for a split second and there was definitely no light.
So much happened that day we went to his orphanage. Deep in his spirit...he knew when we got in the van to leave...he was home. He held his Daddy's finger tight. His whole body relaxed. He was home.
It was then when we drove away that both Dean and I didn't need to know what his health issues really were. We didn't need to know the how and why and ....what? We knew all we needed to know. God told us to rescue Taizi and that day we knew we had. If he never changed. If he never progressed. If he never walked, talked, looked us in the eye...connected. We knew he was rescued. That was what God asked us to do.
Oh little Taizi. Dean said last night as I was laying on the floor with him..."Taizi thinks he died and woke in Heaven". It's so true. It's almost like every morning when he wakes we read in his expression as if it says "oh...it's still true...I'm with you!". I know you may think we are really reading into it but trust me ... we are not.
He speaks. With no words. He communicates...not in ways you would expect.
And he loves. So purely.
Ways he now responds: if I walk over to him holding his bottle he immediately lays down.
We buckle him in his stroller and hold his blanket and he lefts his arms so we can tuck him in!
I bring his "little prince" shoes and he lifts his feet for me, one at a time to put them on.
If we reach out our hands...he grabs it.
And best of all..many many times when we come close...he lights up and smiles.
Oh Taizi. The bond he has with his Daddy is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Truly.
To see a man...a man's man...be completely broken for his son with serious special needs. He has no frustration with him. Patience. Adoration. And complete pure, unconditional love. It's beautiful.
A fellow adoptive mom gave us some packets of powdered baby food (it's equivalent to jar of food in powdered form) that her baby refused. BRILLIANT. Taizi has been drinking it in his bottles! So exciting!! This morning we put cold soy milk in his bottle and he drank it! We are moving right along.
Health wise many people ask us what we think.
I'm 95% sure he's deaf. As in hears nothing right now. It is likely he has significant fluid build up in his ears due to open palate but it's more than that. That would still give him hearing but as if you were under water. He hears nothing and I'm very confidant. Having fought for 2 years for Azlan's hearing and told I was crazy...we know the signs to look for.
We are very concerned about his heart. He sweats like I've never seen...when it's not hot. It's not a temperature thing. His body is not hot. But he's often sitting with a forehead beaded with sweat and wet hair (like this morning at breakfast).
His left eye does not blink. Dr. Bledsoe has questioned me on this saying that is very very rare and are we sure. Well...we are sure. It does not blink. It does close when he sleeps which baffles her. It goes down about 1/3 of the way when his other eye blinks but it does not blink. It is always glazed and constantly draining ... clearly due to not blinking. Dr has no idea what this means but says it's not sounding good at all.
He definitely has Hemifacial (Goldenhar) as do Azlan and Zihao...though Taizi's seems more significant.
He has beautiful teeth and a smile that will melt you to a puddle. His dimple is actually double...in one spot :) How's that for awesome ... ? ;)
And ... he's ours.
He's a prince. He's our prince.
He has a long road in front of him, medically speaking. But we'll be there every step of the way.
The other night he was sitting on the floor in a trance and Dean laid down beside him. Eventually he started playing with Dean's hair. I was there taking pictures of them and all of a sudden he laid his head on Daddy's face. Then a few minutes later turned towards me and lit up in a smile that could melt a heart of stone. Look at the progression of photos below.
Oh Taizi. You have shown the world a new face of beauty. To be so beautiful with so many 'imperfections' you have redefined 'perfect'. God has used you...the least of these...to show who He really is. And you... my precious...are truly a prince.
sitting staring in the mirror. Daddy came up close and started patting his back (which he loves)
Eventually he just laid his face on Daddy's face.
And then gave me direct eye contact with a beautiful smile!
That soon erupted into this !
Riding the bus yesterday with Daddy
Oh he is such a love