Monday, November 5, 2012

The day.

We woke early. The kids have been amazing. It's hard for us to fully switch to the local time b/c there hasn't been time for an afternoon nap etc so  we all fall to sleep 6pm ish. So we are waking 4-5ish.  

Anyway we got ready for our day. Unpacked our bags in some sort of organized fashion (there are no drawers).  Our rooms is cute. It's not the 5 star we saw in Shanghai. It's more authentically Chinese. The furniture etc. But it's nice. The walls are thin. We went down for breakfast around 8.  Wow. What a breakfast. I've never had breakfast like that! It's a buffet mix of western and Chinese. It was amazing. Azlan thought he died and went to heaven! ;) He was so excited to tell Tirzah that it was much better than Granny's Buffet!! :)  

We then went back to our room for a bit to get ready.  

I had been reading in Samuel for a while. I wanted to read before this important day but 2 Samuel…? I felt a strong Yes. Just read there. You have to understand it's been gory battles. Bones hanging in the streets. Absolum hanging by his hair. For quite a bit now! That is not what I wanted to go into this day with. But I said ok…let's do it. Oh….my Father is so good.  How He knew and ordained all those weeks ago when I started (and even missed a few days) that the chapter I'd be reading today would be David's prayer of thanksgiving.  What a contrast to the chapter before (read it!) 

2 Samuel 22.  

My heart was leaping.

Ok lets go!!!

We went downstairs. Azlan was so excited.  Once he found out this was our Taizi day he just was so excited and said this is his favorite day! Love his little heart.

We drove to the civil affairs office and as we were parking this crew of adults were walking with a baby…all of a sudden I yelled out "ITS HIM ITS HIM!!!" He was crying and thrashing back and forth. We jumped out and followed them in.  He was crying and crying. I reached out and touched his fingers…wasn't getting eye contact.  Finally the lady handed him to me.  He stopped crying and laid on my shoulder.  This is the picture I posted on Facebook. I'll do my post to post here asap. Its been difficult b/v only my iPad will use the vPN service here not my laptop. errrr.
This whole time Izrael just watched us. Never flinched. Never cried.  Azlan just watched too.

Then we went into the room to sign papers.  No one was there but us. Our guide had told us it was likely going to be a whole room of people but we had it all to ourselves. The officials were taking tons of pictures with us and him.  

They handed us a gift AND a bag full of everything I had ever sent him!!!! ALl the cameras, gifts, personalized pillow etc. I was so excited!!

After signing all documents at one point Dean held him. He seemed extremely responsive to Dean. He rubbed Dean's goatee for the longest time just sitting still.

After we left there we went to the grocery store. He cried and cried but the director told us he was very hungry.  Due to his open palate he has only been eating formula with rice. It's so thick you have to cut the top off the bottle into this huge hole. Honestly he could have been having baby food in there!!! So sad that he hasn't.

He didn't feel that tiny to us.

Til we got home. I took 3 layers off him. ONe was like a snowsuit.  Omgoodness. He's tiny. His thighs are like Izrael's wrists.  He has a couple sores on his body that he was very intent on scratching when we took his clothes off. WHile our guide made his bottle we bathed him with Azlan. HE LOVED IT!! He totally came alive. Splashign and laughing like crazy!! His hair was like needles. It hurt on my skin. But clearly it was very very dirty. It's still stiff but after washing it it's not near as stiff.

We changed him into an adorable outfit … put his Little Prince leather shoes on his feet and held him close.

That's when things got interesting.

He laid on the floor holding his bottle (NOT drinking) and went into endless fits of laughter. I mean it was adorable. He has dimples! His smile is precious. His teeth are amazing!!!! Not near like Azlan's … he has 2 full front teeth in a perfect row!  He does have the cleft in his gums but it's TINY again not near like Azlan. His palate is wide open still.

This laughter started getting us thinking. It's his reaction to trauma.  It would even turn into tears.  And if he wiggled his way over to a piece of furniture he would start banging his head on it…hard…and laughing. It was heart breaking.  We'd pick him up and he'd wail. Lay him down and fits of laughter. :(  So we let it go for a while.

Then we laid him in his crib realizing that's where he spent 99% of his life.  Oh..the sadness. The only thing his eyes focus on are his hands. He can do amazing movements with his hands. Clearly he has been entertained by his little hands for hours and hours and hours over 3.5 years while laying n his back in his crib. It is so sad. :( 

The hardest saddest thing is when he hits himself. This tiny little body can his his face so hard. I mean slaps or fists. Its' very very hard. Then he cries from the pain. We are trying to figure out if that was how he made him self cry so he would get attention…? Oh…break my heart.

Dean has been amazing with him. Dean can pick him up and just hold him still. He's never had that you can tell. So when he starts hitting we look at that as a cry for help. We hold him.  His body settles.  

His eye contact is very very subtle. He will look at you but only for an instant then looks away and lets his eyes wander and cross freely.  

We never expected so much spirit. He has spirit.  He's precious.  This is a little boy that is such a product of his environment for such an extended period of time. :(  He has such extreme behaviors that you would expect from being institutionalized.  Yes there's likely areas of brain damage…we get that…and maybe that's why he was more neglected…but oh he is so traumatized from the orphanage.  

Later in the afternoon we needed to get out. I put him in the ergo (baby carrier) which he freaked. Again Izrael…grew up over night. She looks at him as her baby and is amazing. I mean amazing.  All those nights me getting her to kiss Taizi's picture before bed…she totally knew who he was and had NO adjustment period at all yesterday.  She even stands by his crib and plays with him. She says his name too.  Azlan got into his crib with him yesterday and it was so cute. His patience with him is awesome.  

So we walked outside our hotel and into the market.  We are right beside these amazing river tours …can't wait to go on it.  To say we were stared at would be such a gross understatement.  There's stared at like we were in Shanghai then there's people stopping turning and staring and pointing and talking and this buzz that grows and you arein the center of it.  Oddly it's very uncomfortable even though you don't know them or have a clue what they are saying. They are definitely disturbed by the fact that we have 3 children. They are holding up 3 fingers in our face in disgust.  THey can't even see Taizi's face as he's all bundled so they assume they are bio.  BTW Taizi totally settled and even went to sleep in there!  

We ordered pizza and came home.


The night was interesting.  This precious little boy started looking around and totally intently looking in every direction seeing he was NOT in his familiar place. He started to panic. Break my heart. Even though it was awful…it's all hew ever knew :( So we gave him his bottle (which he hold on his own he won't touch it if you hold it) and put him in his crib.  He wailed and wailed and wailed. The amazing part is IZrael was now sleeping in her crib and she's NEVER had noise.   Well she didn't flinch.  NOt going to lie…Dean and I were praying like crazy.  Dean pulled the side of his crib down…put praise music on his iPhone by Taizi's head and just rubbed his back. For a LONG time.  He finally went to sleep. And it's after 6am and he's still sleeping :)

I hope you can see my heart…our hearts in this post.  He's precious. Simply preious. He's hurting.  He's traumatized. It's not a 'happy ever after' and he's home and at peace. Not at all. He's very insecure in his new surroundings.  We are unsure how much he can hear. The baby can laugh…I can clap my hands…Azlan calls him … and he never  turns.  YOu have to touch him. His eyes arevery intense and I don't think he misses much which again makes me think there's severe hearing loss. He DOES have both ear canals from what we can see (amazing news!)!.  He's little.  Scared. And jlived a life…alone.  This precious little boy has been given an amazing gift. It's going to take time for him to see it as a gift.  It's rocked his world right now.  

From our hearts..again…thank you for praying for us.  We are so touched by those of you that have prayed night and day. Please don't stop. Pray for us and pray for Izrael and Azlan and especially that our little Prince will see we are here to stay.  

By the way our guide said she has never ever heard his name before but LOVES it. :) She said you know that means crown prince right??? :) Yes ma'am we do :)


Here we can see Taizi from our van!!



Our first eye - to - eye :)



He was screaming so hard but totally rested on my shoulder.


No longer an orphan, Taizi.

A moment of connecting.  It didn't last long but it was special.

With the orphanage director.

he did so amazing with Daddy!!


Love!


Our official picture



Driving to the grocery store


His first bath by Mama!


Clean, changed, eating and adorable!


Why, of course! Shoes fit for a prince!



Oh..my heart!


Izrael keeps saying "sorry Taizi...sorry Taizi" :(


6 comments:

  1. I am glad there are things that were better than you expected (like 2 ear canals). It's so hard to hear what he has been through. So thankful God led you to him and praying that lots and lots of LOVE will help him heal!

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  2. Oh the heartbreak :( You are everything he needs and more, praying for you all !!

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  3. lots of love and prayers for all of you. Thank you so much Janice for giving us all the gift of his story!

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  4. Finally! he is where he should be!! and yet, so hard to make the change. poor confused boy. Praying he bonds and learns to feel safe with you quickly! I'm thinking God sent Izrael and Azlan with you more than just to keep them safe, it was for little Taizi! Along with real love for the first time in his life, I can't think of anything more healing than those two little interested siblings. :) Hard, hard, Precious times.

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  5. I'm speechless...all I can write is, thank the Lord that you have him now, and he will know maybe for the first time ever what Love is. I can't help but think of all the thousands of other wee children that are left hurting and alone -in China and all over the world. It's bothering me so much...
    Today Rachie saw the pictures of Taizi and was so excited that he was with his new mommy. Now she keeps asking "Did they get their other little boy yet?" :-)

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  6. I love that little Izrael's hand is touching Taizi's foot in the picture of him eating while you are smiling at him...comforting him...like mama, like daughter.

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