Tuesday, March 5, 2013


These last few days have been a little exhausting.

Taizi is oh so cute.

Zihao is simply put...a charmer!

Then there's the every-day-reality.

Every single time either Dean or I tell Zihao to do anything .. from "please pick that book up" to "Can you go potty before dinner" to "help Azlan clean those toys please" to "ok let's go brush our teeth for bed" he starts wailing.  Yes. Wailing.

Today is the second time in just 4 days that when I went to change Taizi (who is FULLY dressed, not laying around in a diaper...today he had drawstring (pulled tight) pants and a shirt on) I've noticed a very very filthy hand. Yes. You know. A very very dirty hand.  Only to see he has been digging in a very dirty diaper as he plays.  Well today was worse.  His hand, all four fingers were in his mouth. He leaves indents on his fingers from biting them so we always pull them out and give him a toy when he has his hands in his mouth.  Well I pulled his hand out only to see...he was sucking hard on it...and it was full...of poop.  Ok. I stepped back only wishing Dean were home to tackle this task.  :(  And well...my stomach was flipping in nausea to say the least.

The door bell rang last night and Zihao RAN to the door with me...and pushed in front of me to give high fives to the (to him...)total stranger and would not stop talking to him.  Yes.  Dealing with some of his attachment issues are difficult b/c he wants and seeks the attention from everyone else so extremely.

I have  been trying everything I can think of to help stop Taizi from grinding his teeth. It is so extreme there's many times we have been convinced it was an outside noise...it's THAT loud.  Yes we do pacifiers...and he's chewed many...completely off! So now we only do them for night time. The doctor at Children's said the other day "I've never seen a child grind their teeth...WITH a pacifier in their mouth" Yah. He can!

I won't be simply a bearer-of-bad-news since I believe in all of these issues, even the sitting there eating poop one...yes...even that one ... there's a spiritual application of our own selves before God.

And definitely with us running from the only TRUE love and only unconditional love we have ever experienced and actively seeking it in every other source that can never come close to providing it...as Zihao does.

Yesterday I walked out the front door in the afternoon with a garbage bag, only to see as I came back into the house...something taped to my door.

It was a Starbucks bag.  With 3 individual Starbucks gifts card inside.  Each one having their own very specific note about our journey with Taizi.

I came inside. Slumped into my chair. Knew instantly who it was from. And thanked God for the people He has put into our lives that have lifted us, supported us and at many times...carried us in this journey that is now ... our life.

This afternoon, I loaded up all 9 and we drove 20 minutes to see Daddy and bring him lunch. Just because it was so great to get out.  When we arrived at his job site, Kings & Queens came on the radio and all of a sudden we heard 8 very loud, off-tune, heart felt voices belting out in the back of the van.  How could you not smile and see the sunshine that just came in on this very cold, cloudy day?  Izrael and Zihao were "singing" at the top of the their lungs just b/c they know this is a song we sing to :)


  1. ... I don't even have words. I don't know how you do it... only God. And through your sacrifices of doing good, loving well and giving thanks - He is pleased. He is honoured. His name is lifted up. Praying for you to know His strength and peace today.

  2. Ditto to Janna's above comments. Sending you a hug across the miles.