Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Don't blink.

Don't blink.

Adorable Izrael Promise picked a flower for mommy.

Deep conversations with Zihao :) It was so cute.  I asked him his name and he said "Walker" I asked him Daddy's name and he thought for a minute and said "Daddy Walker". Mommy? "Mommy Walker". bear? "Bear Walker" :) Why of course!

Love that little face.

She's a wild one.  
Her favorite color? Purple.
Her favorite animal? A unicorn. Of course.
Her favorite non-toy (her words) Baby Hannah (her doll).
Her favorite toy? Cars!

They were laughing and having so much fun and got all serious for the camera:)

Mommy and Izrael P.

Love this picture. They are just like twins. Except ... he's double her age ;)

Izrael splashing in the water

Zihao loving it!

Mommy feeding Nazara while the 2 little boos play in the water.

He squealed the whole way!

Look at her go!

Always Zion and Chazano wanting to play ball with Daddy!

My little lover.  mmmm.

Taizi got tired. And decided to lay down on the prickliest grass. Ever.

Life is made up of moments.  Don't blink.  

You'll miss the ones that really matter.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

It's all about Jesus.

People often ask what our secret is...for getting through our days...with joy.

Taizi is a lot of work. And he can be hard.  He destroyed a few of the kids' favorite books today. They were so sad. Yes we keep them out of his reach but they are children...they do leave their books on the couch...then it's too late.

He made his way upstairs and destroyed the playroom...in a matter of seconds.

He was sitting on the potty and before we knew it, he got up and peed a flood all over the kitchen floor.

The bruises on his face are getting bigger and darker. We have assumed this is from beating his face on the plastic piece of his bed in the night...but tonight I walked in to see if I could see what he was banging...and he froze when he saw me. With fist in the air, aimed at his cheek and the right side of his face beat red from punching it.

How do we do it? Day in an day out?

It's all about Jesus.

I was talking to a friend tonight about her niece that has brain cancer. She's 18 (she's the recipient of our big gift...email me if you still want to participate).  She's covered in stretch marks from the steroids blowing her body up.  She's got major headaches. She's tired. She's happy.  Not complaining. And has joy.

What...? Why...? How...?

It's all about Jesus.

I was talking to a friend who is going to China in a few months to adopt her 12 year old daughter. She was saying how there's so many horror stories of how hard it is. How she may have RAD. etc etc.  I asked that she ignore them.  There are no 'what if's here.

This is all about Jesus.  Just love her.  And when it's hard...love her more. And when it's really hard...love her even more.  We aren't always so loveable to God. He's not telling everyone how awful we are. How stubborn we are. How not attached and connected we are. He loves us.  Just love her. Like Jesus does.

It's all about Him.

I was talking to my cousin who lives in Brazil and lives and works among 'the least of these'.  I love watching her live her life in surrender for Jesus. Surrounded by devastation. Hopelessness. Depravity.  Why is she there? Why get up and do it all over again another day...?

It's all about Jesus.

Dean recently heard a song and it quickly became a favorite of mine...I think it says it well.

Strangely Dim by Francesca Battistelli

I've had all these plans piled up sky high
A thousand dreams on hold
And I don't know why,
I got a front row seat
To the longest wait
And I just can't see
Past the things I pray

But when I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don't look around
Any place I'm in
Grows strangely dim

Sometimes where I stand
On this narrow road
Is in a raging storm
Or a valley low
But oh

When I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don't look around
Any place I'm in
Grows strangely dim

I don't know, I don't know
What tomorrow may hold
But I know, but I know
That You're holding it all
So no matter what may come

I'm gonna fix my eyes on all that You are
'Til every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
Let all my worries fade
And fall to the ground
I'm gonna seek Your face
And not look around
Til the place I'm in
Grows strangely, strangely, strangely dim.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

The sweetest gift. Real laughter. Nazara love. Family. Faith.

Last week Dean took the kids out for something and when they returned, Tirzah was beaming.  I mean...beaming. She stood in front of me in my office and had her hands behind her back.  She then handed a small brown card in front of me.  It was a Starbucks gift card.

I got a lump in my throat. She started to talk.  "Mommy I bought this for you with my own money. Daddy thought I should write you a nice card instead but I wanted to buy this. I know it's a lot of money but I think you work so hard for us and I really love you...so this is my gift to you.".

She does work hard to save $5 and that was the sweetest Starbucks drink I've ever drank.

The best part is how she smiled and watched me drink the entire thing. She loved how much I loved it.

Last week we went to the park and Dean and Zihao tossed the football back and forth. We saw the cutest, grit-his-teeth laughter ever.  His shoulders would hunch, he'd grit his teeth, jut out his jaw and really...genuinely...laugh.

so so cute.  And hearing the laughter was the very, very best.  Oh Zihao, you are so loved, little boy.

We fished in the sunset and caught nothing but loved it all. 

Azlan, Zion, Tirzah and Azahria love fishing the very most of all.

Pretty as a flower.

Oh Izrael.



Azahria Peace.

Chazano and Zunduka turned 9 years old and we celebrated. With the cake of their choice, and lots of amazing gifts!

They are twins. With personalities as opposite as you can get.  What a journey it has been and here we are 3.5 years later...and we cannot imagine life without our Chazano and Zunduka.


We have had so much fun this year. From boating to parks to bbqs to fishing.

Daddy and 10 week old Nazara Journey

mmmmmm. Love.


Azahria Peace



Zihao. Smiling on the inside and outside.


Azlan Honor. My sunshine.



Piggy taking in the sights.

Oh this gift of Nazara Journey.  I feel like my heart hurts...that's how much I adore her.


Faith is the substance of things hoped for...
the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1.

I had coffee with my close close friend and her sister. And throughout this emotional conversation I was struck by 'faith'.  I came home and as I processed my thoughts it was simply that what we cannot see...is more real...more concrete...than what we can.  

We live as though this is it. The here and now. The physical. The material. The temporal.  But what is not seen...is eternal.  There's just a thin veil that separates us from here...and there.  

Wouldn't it be amazing to have that veil lifted...? If even for a moment...? Imagine how your perspective would change.  If you saw Heaven cheering you...if you heard the applause of the angels as you walked though the most trying of all trials.  If you could see...just for a millisecond...the eyes of Jesus. And in seeing them...you knew.  You could persevere...you could endure...you could overcome...because what was once faith...unseen...was now seen.  

I let myself go there. And I was crying.  Everything I sweat over here...suddenly became non-issues.  I mean...big issues...were in that moment..non-issues.  

It is more real. More concrete. More sure. Than anything I deem as such. 

My ultimate wish...would be to go to Heaven...just for a few minutes....and come back.  How would my life change...? If it no longer took faith to believe...?

It's only a thin veil that separates us.

For now we see only a reflection...as in a mirror...
Then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part...then I shall know fully...even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:12

I got up from my chair...and found myself singing all day long...this one line: 
"Oh God...how I need You"

Listen to it here: