I got a lump in my throat. She started to talk. "Mommy I bought this for you with my own money. Daddy thought I should write you a nice card instead but I wanted to buy this. I know it's a lot of money but I think you work so hard for us and I really love you...so this is my gift to you.".
She does work hard to save $5 and that was the sweetest Starbucks drink I've ever drank.
The best part is how she smiled and watched me drink the entire thing. She loved how much I loved it.
Last week we went to the park and Dean and Zihao tossed the football back and forth. We saw the cutest, grit-his-teeth laughter ever. His shoulders would hunch, he'd grit his teeth, jut out his jaw and really...genuinely...laugh.
so so cute. And hearing the laughter was the very, very best. Oh Zihao, you are so loved, little boy.
We fished in the sunset and caught nothing but loved it all.
Azlan, Zion, Tirzah and Azahria love fishing the very most of all.
Pretty as a flower.
Chazano and Zunduka turned 9 years old and we celebrated. With the cake of their choice, and lots of amazing gifts!
They are twins. With personalities as opposite as you can get. What a journey it has been and here we are 3.5 years later...and we cannot imagine life without our Chazano and Zunduka.
We have had so much fun this year. From boating to parks to bbqs to fishing.
Daddy and 10 week old Nazara Journey
Zihao. Smiling on the inside and outside.
Azlan Honor. My sunshine.
Piggy taking in the sights.
Oh this gift of Nazara Journey. I feel like my heart hurts...that's how much I adore her.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for...
the evidence of things not seen.
I had coffee with my close close friend and her sister. And throughout this emotional conversation I was struck by 'faith'. I came home and as I processed my thoughts it was simply that what we cannot see...is more real...more concrete...than what we can.
We live as though this is it. The here and now. The physical. The material. The temporal. But what is not seen...is eternal. There's just a thin veil that separates us from here...and there.
Wouldn't it be amazing to have that veil lifted...? If even for a moment...? Imagine how your perspective would change. If you saw Heaven cheering you...if you heard the applause of the angels as you walked though the most trying of all trials. If you could see...just for a millisecond...the eyes of Jesus. And in seeing them...you knew. You could persevere...you could endure...you could overcome...because what was once faith...unseen...was now seen.
I let myself go there. And I was crying. Everything I sweat over here...suddenly became non-issues. I mean...big issues...were in that moment..non-issues.
It is more real. More concrete. More sure. Than anything I deem as such.
My ultimate wish...would be to go to Heaven...just for a few minutes....and come back. How would my life change...? If it no longer took faith to believe...?
It's only a thin veil that separates us.
For now we see only a reflection...as in a mirror...
Then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part...then I shall know fully...even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:12
I got up from my chair...and found myself singing all day long...this one line:
"Oh God...how I need You"
Listen to it here: