Yes...it's 11:30 pm and yes...I just sat down with a cup of coffee. No it's definitely not decaf.
That sounds really tough but honestly caffeine doesn't affect me in any way.
We just came in from outside.
I got off the phone with the plastic surgeon on call at Children's and immediately walked outside into the dark...put my head in my hands ... and cried.
Dean followed me. He held me as I had a good...deep...cry.
We sent a photo to the doctor on call and I talked about the smell coming from his mouth. I've honestly never smelled anything like it. No amount of people telling me "mouth surgeries can make your breath smell bad" could eliminate my concerns. This...? We can smell it a room away and it's unlike anything I've ever smelled. Something...something smells like it is dying.
Then the photo. There is something wrong with his mouth. I'm seeing something I should not be seeing. That...is for sure.
She talked to me then said she would call me back after she viewed the photo.
She called back in 2 minutes and said "yes...you are correct. Something is wrong."
We talked for a few minutes, she does not believe he is at risk for anything serious. She gave us a list of things to watch for but said we will keep his appt with the surgeon for Friday morning (locally...amazing! He is coming to our city to do a local clinic and they got us an early appt).
When I asked more questions she said "yes." "No." "yes..." "Yes that would be correct." in all the places I didn't want to hear it.
She said the smell seems to be from the bone...dying.
From the photo she said it appears as if the gums are open and we are indeed viewing the bone graft very visibly.
As only a realist would ask... I said "tell me what we are looking at. What is done from here." and she replied "we will have to take it all out and start over." Of course she reminded me she's basing this off a photo but we assured her it's more extreme in person than the photo shows (try getting an iPhone in your child's mouth for a picture).
Tonight...it's Pumpkin Spice coffee...staring at this beautiful face...and a whole lot of Jesus.