Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The real update.

The update...was the factual..medical...update.

This is the real update.

I feel like I could be sick at the thought of what is ahead. Why didn't it work? It's too early to be rejected.  We were told we would not know for 6 weeks if the body accepted it.  Day 9 and it will be all removed.  What happened?

Then I remember my commitment to not ask "why?".  Wrong question.

It's not about "why...?" that's just anger that never gets satisfied.  Is there any answer that would be good enough for my heart...?  I can't see the full picture.  I don't have the bird's eye view.   I couldn't handle the answer right now.

But I do know "Who...?".  I know Who is with us.

 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8.

That's all that matters.

And the song that has been consistently in my head all evening...

"You are are good...and Your love...endures forever..."

With all the questions I refuse to ponder any further...I will focus on what I do know.

I do know He wastes nothing.  I do know He is right here with us...promising never to leave.  I do know He sees the end...He has the full-picture view.  I do know...

"'s not a dead end road...if it takes you where you needed to go..."

My heart hurts tonight.  This isn't how this was supposed to be.  Yet...I find total peace in the One who loves Azlan more than my heart could ever be capable of.

And He is good...He is good...and His love...endures forever.


  1. Love you friend.
    and with an aching heart for Azlan, I lift you all up in prayer... also believing with you that "He is GOOD.... He IS Good... and His love endures forever." He's got this.

  2. A friend shared your blog with us ... and I am so thankful that she did. My heart aches for you all. I can feel your pain, as also mother to an 8 yr old son, yet I can not comprehend the great path of trial that you are walking through at this moment along with your husband and Azlan (and even all his siblings). I will be praying for you, for Azlan, that you may be ever conscious of the Lord's constant presence with you. Trusting that you may know the Lord's loving tender arms about you, about Azlan, resting in His care. God bless ...
    During the last week, the hymn "God will take care of you" just came to my mind ... I googled it, and have enjoyed time and time again listening to the hymn (sung by the Heritage Singers) ... I trust that right now, it may bring joy, comfort and peace knowing that God will take care of you.
    With Christian love ... from Australia.