Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Can you stay right behind me, Mama?

Every night when we put the little kids to bed...Izrael, 3 years old, says "can you stay right behind me, Mama?"

Every night, my answer is "of course, I'll be right behind you, baby girl."

She smiles and lays down in her little bed.  Her light goes out.  She doesn't like that. She doesn't really like the dark.  She's only three.  But she's not afraid.  Because...I'm right behind her.

Sometimes 5 minutes later, I hear a little voice call out "mommy...?"

"Yes, Izrael?"

"Are you still right behind me...?"

"yes, baby".

Silent.

Usually in 5 minutes I can peak in her room and see her peacefully sleeping.

Every night, I smile.

Oh this is just like me.

I can't see Him.  But He's promised to always be there.

"I'll never leave you. I'll never forsake you, Janice"

Right behind me.  By the way...for Izrael, it means I'm sitting outside her room with my back against the wall. She can't see me. She just knows I'm there.  And in just the knowledge of my presence...there's no fear of the dark.

Right there.  But not visible.  Just a voice away.  But not touching her.

In the darkest moments of my life...I can feel my heart speak out "Jesus...? Are you there....? You are still there...right...?"  and in the silence..."yes. I'm right here. Janice...I'm right here."

Yes...I...like my 3 year old...would prefer to actually feel His arms around me. Not sitting just out of sight.

Could anything bad happen to her with me right around the corner? Not a chance!  No bad guys coming out of the closet...no scaries anywhere....nothing. Because I'm right behind her.  And she knows that is good enough.

Ahhh.


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