Those of you that have followed our story know we believe our story is more about surrender than even...adoption. Yes...it's about adoption. Totally. But God hasn't called each of us to adoption. He really hasn't.
It's not an easy road. It's actually... a hard road. An amazing road..but a hard, bumpy, rough road...often for a few years. Maybe...longer.
This story that He's writing in our lives...is really about surrender. And that is something each of us, as Christians, are called to. His plan. His will. His way. Versus our dreams. Our goals. Our ideals.
It's hard to make sense of surrender. It really is. I've had many, many people say "no Janice, you LOVE children. This IS about your wish. You can't surrender to something you don't want.". Respectfully...I fully, whole heartedly disagree. I do.
I do love children. You may as well. And you likely have 2! Or 3...maybe 4. That was me. I wanted 5. That would be an amazing life. So yes. I do love children. We both do.
This is more. This is about God calling us to something...beyond us. Much bigger than us. Something that we said "oh wait...no...no.." to first. Long before we said "yes".
Surrender is not defeat though. No...it's not a glum faced, hunched shoulders...dragging our feet without joy....response. No. When surrender is complete...whole hearted...it's freedom. It's knowing you are right in the center of God's will. It's arms up! It's peace. It's faith.
It's jumping off the cliff because I know who's standing there to catch me. It's not ignorantly jumping off the cliff to my death. No...that's foolishness.
This journey is all about surrender. Yes, orphans break my heart. And hopefully...they break yours too. Because it IS devastating. Tirzah is 11 years old. She has been loved, adored every single day of her life. She's been hugged, kissed, cuddled and prayed with every single night since she was born. Imagine not...? Imagine where only her basic needs were met. What happens in the brain...? How does that affect every part of her being? It's so very sad.
As my friend Jenny Groothuis said "Children need mothers. Mothers who know who their God is!". Yes. They do.
But I'm not going to use this platform to push adoption. Instead...I'll use it to tell our story and encourage you...to surrender. To whatever He's asking of you. You may already know what it is. You may not. But...ask Him.
If it's adoption...amazing!! One less orphan in the world because of your obedience. If it's to work on saving your marriage instead of sabotaging it...that makes my heart leap! If it's getting help for your addiction...to whatever it is...food..pornography...there's freedom in surrender.
He loves...that much. He wants your pain. He wants your hurt. As one of my favorite songs says "It's not love any other way".
No we don't feel in bondage. We feel free. Free because we know this is what God asked us to do. And though it might appear radical and crazy and illogical from a secular point of view...there's so much peace in letting God lead the way.
We don't know all of our new daughter's medical struggles. Yes they could be way more severe than we are being told. We saw that with Taizi. He was diagnosed with a cleft lip and palate! And deformed outer ears. Oh...that was the least of his struggles! He's fully deaf, partially blind, cleft lip and palate, severe PDA of the heart, very mentally disabled and complete failure to grow with no reason. Overwhelming...? Many, many days. Regret? None. Not one. We obeyed God. And now we see...this was about transforming our hearts. This was about following Jesus even to 'the least of these'. This was about...obedience. Surrender.
Ridiculous Faith. The step you need to take in your life may look like ridiculous faith to you as well. It might not be adding your 11th child to your family (11 age 11 and under)...but it's surrender. It leaves you in the back seat...and God in control. And none of us like that feeling.
Surrender is stronger. Obedience is better than sacrifice. And He...He has proven Himself totally trustworthy. Over..and over...and over again. In my life. And in yours.
Take the leap.