Friday, May 1, 2015

Date.

The best money we spend...is dating our children.  And now we are stepping it up a notch. Dating them more frequently.

We do so much as a family, more than anyone else I know...simply b/c both Dean and I work from home. Everything we do is together as a family.

Dating is that individual one on one...when your child really comes alive.

Last week, Zion was blushing as he opened the door for me at Applebees and said "I can't stand it, I'm so excited for today!"

Last night it was me and Chazano. He dressed up and when we got out of the van he said "hey Mom, can you check out my collar...? Is it good?" :)

When I went to get the door he stepped up and grabbed it "Let me get that for you, Mom".  Learning all those great things from his Daddy. (they are watching).

When we got inside, this little boy was as proud as punch.  He was so excited to be there.

At one point, the waiter dropped something as he went by. Chazano popped up and said "Let me get that for you, sir". It was so cute.

We talked. We laughed. We didn't watch tv or look at phones.  It was a good, old fashioned date.

Chazano is the child you would think would least need regularly dates...but it couldn't be further from the truth.  He's outgoing, funny, witty and just fun to be around.  But his feelings are buried deep inside.  The first 15 minutes of our date, he sounded like he had a frog in his throat. His voice was strained with nervousness.

On the way home, I talked about Africa. His voice immediately changed. He stiffened. I pretended not to notice. I told him I can't wait til we can all go back and just see his home country. He said stiffly "I don't want to go back, I don't understand why we would". So I said "oh just for a visit b/c this is where you are from! And it's so beautiful there. Imagine showing us your mud hut etc" he said "yah...no. I don't want to go back." I responded lighthearted with "No worries, thought it would be a great trip, we don't have to go back" and I could see his shoulders relax.

Never take what you see at face value.  He has deep fears that haven't yet been addressed.

On the way home he looked over at me and said "mommy...? You are the best mom a boy could ever want". And it was straight from his heart.

I talked candidly about how they were the first adoption and we learned a lot of things the hard way.  He just smiled and said "yah, must have been hard for everyone" and I told him I love him with my whole heart and cannot imagine my life without him as my son.  He looked out the window and said "wow mom, thanks".  He got out of that van with a skip in his step.

As he did I kept thinking "speak life".  Last night...though it cost money and time...I breathed life into my child.  And it's some of the best spent money and time.


3 comments:

  1. Janice, what a blessing you and your husband are to your precious children--and so many others I am sure! I wish all parents could learn these things that seem to come instinctively for you. God has certainly gifted you both in this area. I pray my siblings get to this point someday--especially my brother and his girlfriend. I have been praying that they will turn to the Lord and be healed from the bonds of alcohol addiction and issues with anger. I miss my precious nephew so very much! He is almost 26 months old and I have not seen him since he was 10 months old. Heartbreaking...

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    1. Aww Lori. I'll be praying for your family. How hard.

      Oh nothing comes naturally, to me anyway ;) It's all a process and you learn a lot along the way. XO

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  2. Thanks, Janice. They/we could certainly use the prayers! Hugs!

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