Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Don't make decisions in March.

A few years ago, Dean's friend's life ended in suicide. It was devastating.  In every sense of the word.

We went to the funeral and the man's brother spoke.  He said "don't make decisions in March.  March can be a rough month...but the sun starts shining in April and flowers bloom..and everything changes."

You don't know how many times Dean and I have said to each other "don't make decisions in March".  You need to make decisions when things are going well. When you do see clearly. Decisions that can carry you through the times irrationality takes over.  

It has been on my mind a lot this month.  For many reasons.  One of them may be for you.

Perhaps June is a "March" for you.

Please...don't make decisions in March.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


I've often gotten asked what I think of all the "racial" happenings with police officers across America today.

I, as you know, do have 2 black children.  I also...by the way...have 6 white children and 2 asian children.

What I believe... goes across the racial divide.

I DO believe there is still racial profiling today. No question. I DON'T believe that's always the case.

I don't teach my children they will be mistreated for their color...I do teach them to respect authorities. Always.

Isn't that where this comes down?  I mean...if any of my children...regardless of color...did what some of these kids do to police officers or anyone in authority...I would be mortified.  Because that would reflect on me and what I've taught them.

I think it's sad.  The whole thing is sad.  The lack of plain-and-simple PARENTING today is sad.  The lack of respect for authority today...is just sad.  The fact that police officers are afraid to do their job today for fear of being accused of racial profiling...is sad.  Right and Wrong goes across the racial divide.  Doesn't it...?

That's what we teach our children.  Some may treat you differently...but you are responsible...for YOU.

If one of my children hits another...and the other hits back....who gets disciplined?


You are responsible...for YOU.

Yes he hit you...and he will be disciplined for that.  And you hit him.  And that was the wrong choice.  So you will also be disciplined for that.  `

Just recently I was talking to the 6 older children and reminding them they can do whatever they want. One particular child looked at me and said "Really??"as he lit up.  Yes, I assured him.  Whatever you want.  Obey...disobey...it's 100% up to you.  You have the power to choose.  While his eyebrows were still high and his eyes darting back and forth, no doubt entertaining all the possibilities...I reminded him that while he chooses the action, WE choose the consequence.  And he can be 100% sure there will be consequences.  He said "oh yah, never mind".

Wait...is that perhaps missing today...? In parenting?  In our youth?

They can choose.  But apparently there should be no consequences...?

White. Black. Asian.  Should there be a difference...?

Again, as a mother of 2 black boys, I AM aware of the racial divide in this country. It DOES exist.  And it IS wrong. 100% wrong.

If my son breaks the law, may he get harsher treatment because of his color...? He absolutely (WRONGLY) may.  That exists.  (But be careful...it is not always the case).

I'm not going to argue who was right and who was wrong.

I'm simply talking about where we, as parents, are off track.

I've often heard parents talk about how their 17 year old go pulled over by a police office and "he sure gave him a piece of his mind!" and they chuckle.


I would have never considered anything other than respectfully complying with whatever the officer said to me...and if I did act out of line...I knew my parents would be waiting to deal with me at home.

Today...? Few kids have that fear.  Yes. Fear.  Come on.  There is a healthy dose of fear missing.

Of their parents. Of authority.  A teacher.  A police officer.

Of God.

And today...I fear...I fear for my children's world. The next generation of America.  Yes...I fear what happens when there no longer is a "LAW" much more than my black children being treated harsher for their crimes.

This is OUR country. OUR people.  OUR children.

You and I...? We have no control over the law.  We do...however...have a huge role to play in the next generation.

Our children.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Altering summer plans.

We homeschool our children. And we love it.

Our life is pretty crazy busy and homeschooling is extremely flexible.  Allows us to focus on Azlan very one-on-one more than he would get in a school setting because of his speech difficulties.  Allows us to all travel for medical appointments in Yakima and Seattle...and may even allow for us to take the entire month of December off... ;)

We take the summer off. Always.  We all love that.

Last week, Chazano came to me and said "I have a BIG question. I want something really bad".  So I'm all ears!!

He then says "can I do school all summer?" Huh...?

He goes on to explain that he's 10 years old and feels he can be close to caught up to his age level if he does school all summer.

Yes. He's right.

No, this does not go with my plans.

This is a big deal.  He very very rarely takes initiative for anything.  It's hard to get him to voice his wishes, he just goes with the flow.  So this is a very big deal.

Desire.  Initiative. Problem solving.  We've worked hard to get to this point.  The fact that he cares is even a big deal.

So to honor that...our plans changed. We won't do full scale school but we will do school throughout the summer.

The moments you would never understand PRE-adoption.  It's been 5 years since he was adopted...and it took 5 years to see this moment.

Here we go! :)

Monday, June 1, 2015

15 years.

So many say "how is that possible?"  Yes. It's possible.

Our story began 15 years ago. The 'Dean and Janice Walker story' began.  

And oh..what a rough beginning it was.

Young. Very young.  Moving across the country from everything I knew.  Shy. Quiet.  Insecure.

Oh..it was a rough beginning.

Three years in...we moved to WA state.  Running.  To start again.  

Pregnant with our first child.  I was a stay at home mom. Dean made minimum wage.

That was the beginning of our story in WA state.

A mess.  Broken. Broken hearted.  Broken financially.  Just broken.

4 years later.  Pregnant with our 4th child.  Dean was now the foreman of a construction company.  We took the plunge and went out on our own. Started our own construction company.  Had to sell our new house.  Move into an apartment to make ends meet.  

So many questions. So many dreams.  

A friend of mine offered me a lifeline.  Shy, quiet Janice.  I took it.  I saw it as a way to change our family's life.  

Here we are today.  In our 30's. Parents of soon to be 11 young children.  Full time stay at home parents, working part time around our kids, honored to help so many people change the game for their families.

To say we are blessed...would be a gross understatement.  To say we are grateful...seems so inadequate.  

So much pain. So much loss. So much heartache. So much beauty.  

God makes such beautiful things out of our mess.

To my husband...happy anniversary.