Sunday, September 27, 2015

Putting my talk.

I have read several blog posts floating social media about the Pro Life stance and how we, as christians, need to heart check.  Are we really pro life? Or are we anti-abortion...?

There is a difference.

I am not going to talk about adoption.

Though I could.

And hopefully, if you read our will see God has called our family to love and parent the fatherless. He may call you as well.  My advice...?  Listen. Closely.

What hit me is the... thought.  Am I pro life?  The parents that often abort are young, single moms.  Growing up in rough situations.  Am I pro that young mom having a child?

I would answer a resounding, confidant...YES! Once that life is there...we are to protect it.  It is sacred.

Yet when that mom is in my church...and her poorly parented children are running around like little I pro life? Am I supportive? Loving? Gentle?

Or am I rolling my eyes, annoyed and wishing she'd be anywhere...but there...?

Well this morning I was definitely called to put the walk to my talk.

We sat in church and a mom who has been coming with her wild, crazy toddler...sat in front of us.  This time, she brought 3 girls as well. All about 8-10 years old.  She sat all 4 children in the row BEHIND her.  Right beside us.

The worship wasn't even over and the kids were screaming.  I mean...wild, crazy, terrible twos, whatever you want to call it...would be a cake walk in comparison.  The entire congregation could hear the meltdowns.  She frequently got up, marched back to our row to yell at the kids. In a loud, very audible, barely classified as 'whisper'.  At one point the little boy (3 years old?) spit on her.  Another time he slapped her across the face.  Another he just screamed at the top of this lungs "NOOOOO! Don't touch me!!!!".  All church.  Mom had no control. None.

The girls sitting beside me were anything but behaved. One was constantly hanging upside down off her chair.  She looked to be 9 years old or so.  They were leaning over to talk to their mom. Getting yelled at.  Yelling back.  It was a nightmare.

Hear a message? Honestly...I don't know if I heard more than 10 words!

The natural thought process?  Really...? Your kids are not well behaved enough to sit in church.  Why are they not sitting WITH you?  Why has your husband not once noticed this mayhem?  Little a walking, screaming, out of control...TERROR.

Then I remembered the blogs I read.  ProLife?  Or...anti abortion?


I leaned over to the girl a few seats away from me.  I tapped her on the arm. She whipped her head around at me, GLARED and said "WHAT?!?!".  I smiled and said "I was wondering if you could draw me a picture?" I handed her a pen and paper.  She snapped "WHY!?!?".  I think everyone in my section is hearing this conversation.  I have no idea if it's going to work.  I said "I would love to see how amazing you can draw. Could you do that? I bet you can do a beautiful picture!".  She is staring at me with a scowl. Totally trying to figure me out. I have a pasted...perhaps begging smile on my face.

She snatches it out of my hand and kneels on the floor beside her chair. And starts to draw. She drew a quick, rushed, sloppy dog.  She glared up at me and I smiled.  She kept going. She drew the most detailed picture.  It took her 15 minutes or so.  Mom sitting ahead didn't seem to notice the row behind her was suddenly very quiet.

When she was done she handed it to me.  The intensity of her eyes grabbed my heart.  She was so baffled why I'd want anything from her.  Her hair was matted and all over the place. The mix of sweat pants, gym shoes and a pretty church dress...said much.  I told her it was so beautiful and I knew she was an amazing artist.  She just stared back at me.  Expressionless.

She sat back on her chair as church was almost over. I could feel her stare on my face.  Every few seconds I would glance over at her and smile. She quickly would look ahead, as to NOT catch my glance.

All of a sudden, this child was right in my face.  Like the awkward first date... she had her hand on my neck saying something about my hair.  I tried not to look her in the face, but just smiled.  Then all of a sudden her arms were tightly around my neck. It was the most heartfelt hug.  She just stayed there on my shoulder, in the middle of church.  This is not a toddler.  This is a girl probably 9 years old.

I could feel the lump in my throat.

Choosing to be pro life.  To the moms that definitely need help parenting.  To the moms with more than out-of-control children.  Am I pro life for those children...? Why...yes. Now that you make me stop and think of it. Yes I am.  And yes...that changes my actions.

I was so broken by this little girl's hardness...that had melted within 20 minutes.  We exchanged so few words. She didn't know my name.  I was sitting there with my husband and 3 toddlers.  Her response to love was almost immediate.  Had someone told me that would happen I'd laugh.  Never did I expect that response.

She was so dry. So thirsty.  So very thirsty for love.  I am not saying her mom doesn't love her. Not at all.  There was a lot of anger there. Bad behavior. Bad parenting. Bad behavior. Bad parenting.  It's a vicious cycle.

Pro Life...? Or just...anti abortion?

We can do more. much more.


  1. Tears. I can remember "being" that girl, acting out, desperate to be loved, to be noticed. I remember each person who asked me to "draw a picture". You, my Sister, will be a Forever memory in her life! Oh, I pray that your hug started something new in her sweet heart. And, I will be praying for that Mama and her little ones. Sounds like she needs some guidance
    Hugs to you, Jo Moseley.

    1. I want to reply to your comment, yet it's hard to know what to say. Thank you for sharing a piece of your story. XO

  2. Dear Janice,
    It's been a little while. I kept reminding myself to get back here and read but for some reason, didn't until now. And now I know why I once again kept feeling this urging to come read. I truly believe God often uses you to touch hearts, open conversations and even change lives. Here is yet another reason why...
    My family as I've said before, has it's share of dysfunction. We love each other but my siblings and their families are very different from me. I am a Christian and try hard to live according to His will. Most of my family SAY they believe in God and I am in no way judging their sincerity. I just know that addiction, premarital sex, swearing and at times anger issues are alive and well in their households and I pray for them often.
    My sister and her boyfriend of many years (father of her 2 kids age 21 and 16) allowed my 21 year old niece's boyfriend to move in with them and stay in their daughter's room. My niece was in a severe car accident last year and it seems her personality was affected. Also, she is not very mature in many ways. My niece's boyfriend has 2 kids from 2 different women. Both women have had orders of protection from abuse out against him and he is on probation. He was arrested again and jailed a week ago for driving without a license for the second time. During the few days he was in jail, my niece found he has been cheating on her. That same day she discovered she is pregnant. She tells me she does not feel emotionally or financially stable enough to raise a child. She seems certain of that. She said she was on the pill. She is now just over 9 weeks pregnant and wants an abortion. This breaks my heart and is against everything I believe! I have been as loving as always but have tried to talk to her about considering adoption. They say they can't handle someone else raising their child. The abortion is scheduled for Friday October 2 at 10 A.M. That is the time her boyfriend is due back in court so he won't be going with her.
    Please pray. Sorry this is so long, I just needed to talk to you and request prayer.
    Hope you are doing well my friend! Hugs, Lori

  3. Thank you, Janice! Today she called me and said she has had second thoughts and is no longer having the abortion!! I am praising God!
    I hope my sharing hasn't overwhelmed you. I know it's very personal and it is not something I would normally share on a public blog. I just felt compelled to ask for prayer.
    I also neglected to add that I am thinking that little girl will never forget that a lady in church reached out to her with a caring heart rather than exasperation and anger. I am sure from her hug it meant a lot to her!