Friday, December 18, 2015

Ahhh. I'm still here.

I know if I tell you my life has been couldn't possibly know what I mean.

But life has been crazy.

We are up to our eyeballs in adoption paperwork.  We are so close to traveling to bring ZhenAi home.  So close that I can't even think about it quite yet because we have so much to get done before we go.

And...we are so close to moving into our house.  I know you think that moving can be fun and stressful but in our case...we are so involved in the building process. Especially now.

We spent today scrubbing the floors and shop-vaccing in prep for cabinets to be delivered hopefully tomorrow and for US to install hardwood floor starting this weekend.  Yes. We are doing that.

We also installed our own wood shelving in all the closets to save a ton of money but that also means caulking, taping and painting them all. I cried after doing the master closet as it took three coats. I'm doing this around being a full time Mama to 10.  Non stop runs to the out house on the property with little kids terrified of falling in (I get it!!).  Snacks, boo boos and just a need for a hug.  Paint everywhere. I'm not a neat painter.  And ... ahh.

It all led to a few days ago I took Azahria out to run errands and I stopped in the parking lot of Walmart and just cried. I couldn't even drive.  I didn't want to do errands, I didn't want to go home and face the hours of paperwork on my desk...I just felt overwhelmed.

I know. This comes as a shock to you. But it shouldn't.  You only think I'm superhuman.  I'm...not.

In my sadness and feelings of complete exhaustion in the Walmart parking lot, I notice this grandpa aged man trying to wrap a large BBQ in the wind. I dried my eyes, pulled forward, rolled down my window...and asked if he needed help. He warmly smiled but assured me he had it under control.  I must have connected with that statement...b/c I promptly parked and got out to help him.

I get it.  I'm fiercely independent too.  But he needed help.  He smiled and sweetly said "you are my Christmas angel".  Ahh. I felt like anything but.  He talked about his adopted grandchildren and was just plain wonderful.  I got in the van with a bounce in my step.

Yes...I have a lot going on right now.  But I'll make it.  We'll make it.  And getting my eyes off my mess for a moment was just what I needed.

I do have specific prayer requests.  We have some strange issue with the IRS and our income taxes not being posted properly.  Whatever...they are a mess and anything but fun to deal with.  But this NEEDS to be sorted asap for us to get the mortgage approved. Yes.  That's on my plate too.

God has shown up in so many ways. For our family. Our house. Our adoption. That we know we are where we are supposed to be.  Yet ... it's amazing how I can sit questioning it all in a moment of weakness.

I am totally transparent about the fact that God called us to this adoption when we were already in the process of building our house.  It's just a lot...all at once.  And they are both at the the same time.

We are trying to get into the house in the first week of January and travel to China in February.

All of this to simply ask...that you would pray for us.  For the tax situation to be fixed asap...and for everything else to line up so we can close on the house quickly and get settled before we head to China.

Thank you. For being a part of our journey and praying with us.  For us.  All of us.



  1. Praying for you right now friend. x0x

  2. I got overwhelmed just READING about your day/weekend so I can imagine how exhausting it's been for you at times! Will definitely pray for you and your family! And if I don't get a chance to comment within the next few days, I want to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!