Sunday, March 6, 2016

A risk worth taking.

I decided years ago that to tell our story it's a choice of telling it in it's entirety or not at all.

Why tell a half story? Why inspire with only the lovely? The  beautiful?  The easy?  How does that help? Who does it help?

This is all filtered through my realist perspective.

I always wanted to be a mom.  Always. From the time I was a young child, I dreamed of being a mom.  I still remember all the excitement and all the joy I walked into that hospital room with before Tirzah Liberty was born.  No fear. All joy.

And then she was born. Pain I didn't know was possible. I couldn't sit. Literally. Could...not...sit for days.  I had level 3 tearing. Breast feeding was everything except natural and beautiful. It hurt more than I could express. I felt fat.  A weepy emotional mess.  And in pain.

And I remember talking to different moms as if I was alone.  Every single time my comments were met with a warm smile as they assured me this was 100% normal.


Why had no one told me?

And so my commitment began that day to tell the full story.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who once upon a time thought this way.  As immature as it may's where I was.

And knowing...changes everything.

For my second child's birth ... I went in knowing. Knowing the pain. Knowing the emotions would be crazy. Knowing I needed space. Knowing I needed to fill the perscription. Knowing.  And what a different experience that was...!

There have been countless disruptions in China lately. Families who come for their child...expectations are not met. Things are way harder than they were prepared for. It's not lovely. It's messy.  Sad. Angry. Hard. And they decide for multiple reasons to walk.

Could it have been better had they known the full story? I'm not sure. But I remain convinced that it's what has the greatest chance of helping.

Here's what I have found: dozens and dozens of families who have either walked the path I'm walking or are currently here...saying "thank you". Thank you for speaking the truth. Thank you helping me realize I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing the full story. Feeling hope in the truth.

And for me? Though it's hard to hear those that disagree...the pro will always outweigh the cons. Always.

I'm not here for me. Let me be very clear.  Though you may think me crazy for suggesting it...our life was comfortable before coming to China again. Manageable.  In a sweet spot.  This is not for us.  We had no void. We were not lacking and came to fill as spot. This is for her.

So many assumptions can be made without knowing facts.  As in every area of cautious.

So this journey is hard.  Hard for all of us.  I knew that coming in.  What would take ridiculous faith if it was going to be easy?  I got that a year ago.  Do you know what we do when things are hard? It's definitely not run the other way.  No... that's when we work harder.  We love deeper.  We give more. We pray more sincerely.  And we smile through it all.  A deep joy comes from within. Knowing Who is with you. Knowing why you are here. Knowing He works all things for good to those that love Him. If I only did the things in my life that were without resistance I would be divorced today...and have maybe 2 children and definitey would not be a successful business owner. So doing hard things brings great reward.

Years ago I heard someone I greatly respect say that for every 100 people you inspire...10 will hate you. Often, publicly.  For every thousand you inspire...100 will disagree. Often...publicly.  He went on to say that the saddest part of this stat is that most people will stop doing whatever it is they do to inspire and help people b/c 10% hurt them too deeply.  Instead...he encouraged me to focus on the 90%. Not the 10.  Do you know how hard that is...? I'm sure you do.  100 people can tell you you look amazing at a wedding...but one asks if you've put on a few pounds and what do you do? Shove that dress in the back of your closet and never want to see it again.  Why...? That's just a small example of how we focus on the negative. The naysayer. The ones who disagree with us.

Today I choose. I choose though it's not natural for me to do focus on the 90. I love you all. Even those who disagree.  But I choose to keep being open...vulnerable and putting my own heart at risk...for the 90%.


  1. Janice, I know we don't know each other but from the moment our mutual friend shared your blog with me I have been so encouraged by your dogged faith and your willingness to embrace whatever God brings with open hands even though your heart may be trembling. Please keep telling the whole story...your "wholeness" is the very thing that makes you believable and it brings great honor to our Father. Plus, I just really like you.

    1. Sandy thank you for following our journey and praying us through. I'm so grateful and humbled to be blessed by people like you in my life. XO

  2. You are awesome! And we love you! thanks for being you! :*

    1. Thank you for following our journey <3 xo

  3. You are awesome! And we love you! thanks for being you! :*

  4. Thank you for standing! Thank you for continuing to speak. Thank you for your unwavering faith that inspires me to stand with courage and hope in the hard things in my life. I, too, have been waiting each day in anticipation for new posts. Praying often because God has put it on my heart to carry this burden with you in prayer. Thank you again for continuing to tell His story, even when the enemy wants to shut yout down. God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Gina. XO

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. Well said, Janice. xo

  7. Janice, I am also amazed and in awe of your vulnerability and openness that you chose to put before all of us. I look forward to your posts each day and love reading your blogs and following what you are doing now. I wondered how you would react to the negative comments and again am amazed at your grace and words of wisdom. You have inspired me in so many ways. As an adoptive mom as well (through foster care) I am thankful for your example. there are times when I wish I could just give up and go back to my comfortable life, but then I remember God has called me to do hard things, the real struggle for me is that I try to do the hard things in MY strength. I wonder sometimes, if I had known how hard it would be...would I have still said Yes? Sometimes I think maybe God keeps us from seeing the hard things ahead so we (I) won't run the other way. He is so gentle and loving to lead us each in the way He knows we need. Thank you my friend for sharing your life. I love following it. Praying for you and your family daily. Tammy Potter