That wording our pastor used this morning just hit me right in the heart.
Have you ever been given the gift...of 'too much'...?
He spoke about the spiritual myth I've long detested. You know...that one that everyone consoles everyone with? That made up... "God will never give you more than you can handle."....? Yeah. That one.
I've always hated it. It's not scriptural at all.
And well...now I'm living...much more than I can handle.
I think in this journey, one of my greatest cringe moments has been when someone hears our story and says "oh...you are WAY stronger than I am. I'd never survive THAT!".
What makes you think...that I have?
You think I would have ever signed up for this? Who signs up for cancer? Who signs up for the death of a child? Who signs up for financial ruin? Who signs up for a cheating spouse? Who signs up for anything less than lovely? Who signs up for their worst nightmare? Really. I mean...who?
No one does.
Not you. I know. I got that. But not me...either.
I...am not stronger than you. That is also a myth.
I died hundreds of times along this journey. Somehow...? I lived.
I, like you, have heard of people dying of a broken heart...and I don't know how mine survived.
The likelihood? Weaker. Much, much weaker.
The gift...of too much.
He went on to talk about God telling Paul that His strength was made perfect in Paul's weakness. That. Broken. Hurting. Weak. Frail. Done.
And when you are there...you only have one option if you wish to survive. Yeah. Brought to nothing. All the 'you' stuff is gone. And God is all of a sudden your everything.
The gift...of too much.
I don't know what your 'too much' is. But I do know I'm not the only broken one. Perhaps in this exact situation...yes. But so many of us are...broken. Falling apart at the seams. Amazed we are still here and functioning. Under the weight of...too much.
Could it somehow, someway...be a gift? Don't over analyze it. Because there's little in our story right now that is silver lined. But did it bring me crashing into the only true solid in my life...? Yes.
One of my favorite songs right now is "Sleep In The Storm".
...for the winds that push against me...push me straight into Your arms...
That. The gift of 'too much' has made my faith a reality. My absolute foundation. My survival.
You will...have much more than you can handle. I'm sorry if I'm the first to tell you. I truly am. But in what you cannot do...He can. Nothing is more than He can handle. That's not trite...that's coming from someone being tossed to and fro by waves that overwhelm me.
In this gift of 'too much'...let Him carry you. You are not strong enough. You are not stronger. In our frailty we are carried and see just how very strong He is.