Last night Dean said "oh I got something really awesome in my reading today...I wanted to share it with you...."
He went on to read several verses and I had to be on my left side or I start to black out (anyone else like that late in pregnancy...?) so I was turned away from him. But...my jaw was open. These were for me.
Whispers...perhaps much louder and clearer than whispers. They spoke right to my soul.
I've been struggling so much in our journey with the complete lack of ... how do I say it... justice. Things have not been 'right' or 'true'. The more the obvious lack of 'justice' the more my heart hurts all over again. I find myself longing for common sense...heart...and justice. Just for someone to see the story and hear the truth. I lay awake at night haunted by the lack of it. Tormented...honestly. I've learned to see the world so differently than I did a year ago. And that...saddens me. I've never lived in a rainbows and lollipops world. My world has been full of 'hard' for years. But doable hard. Manageable hard. And hard with great rewards along the way. Then there was this part of our story. This part that threw us to our knees...literally. Moments I will never forget so long as I have breath. Moments that increasingly make me wake in the night screaming, sweating, convulsing. Did this all really happen? Is this really true? Please tell me it's just a horrific nightmare. No. Alas...this is our reality. And to top it off...a complete lack of justice. I lay back down to go to sleep and hope for peace just for a few more hours.
And then there were these whispers.
Straight from Heaven.